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 | paradox (profile) wrote,
on 12-28-2004 at 7:19pm |
Music: Stevie Wonder- Ribbon In The Sky
Subject: Descent From Heaven
|
Drifting further into emotions
With my head gently resting
Above the forgotten clouds
Where angels often dwell.
Forever gazing upon us
From their heavenly estate.
I've asked for an angel,
One I'm able to call my own,
One with the whitest wings
Shaded red in the sunset
Soaring deeper into the night.
To sacred heights that were
Once previously unreachable.
Her features are so majestic
Captivating my very breath,
Refilling my lungs with hope.
Her lips, tenderly pressed
Against my stilled heart.
Bringing blissful motivation
Surging through my veins.
Why would such an angel
Depart from her pedestal
To descends towards humanity?
Trading in her elegant wings
Leaving behind all she knew
To offer me her holy halo?
I asked for an angel
Yet I never expected
One would ever hear my cry.
Humbly I remain unworthy
My eyes no revealing
The figure standing before me,
An angel of my own. |
Post A Comment
|
brokenmentality | 12-29-04 12:05am alright doll..
you know i like critiquing your poetry. (critiquing.. hmmm. sp*)
but theres nothing i'd change here.
i've told you before how much i like this one.... but its so good.
and im not just sayin that.
your vocab is really different and really elegant, which reflects that overall mood of the poem. it all flows really well. and it almost tells a story of this angel. and her "decent from heaven". you can feel the admiration in this and all its emotion.
One with the whitest wings
Shaded red in the sunset
thats always been one of my favorite lines for some reason. its very vivid, very nice.
Her lips, tenderly pressed
Against my stilled heart.
i love that line too. im a big fan of using lines like this one. i've used the "pressed against" in a few of my poems. but this line is just real good. and you can see it, and feel all the emotion behind it.
nicely done babe.
i'll get in the lingo...
"keep em droppin."
wait no...
"keep droppin up, one love"
wait no...
"uppin"
wait no thats your job.
*giggles. im a nerd.
awww. so are you though.
mmmmmm.. that hibachi was soooo good today. i just randomly remembered that. mmmm it was so good. now im thinking about how good it was. mmm.. i should say that one more time.. mmmmmm.
ok, my reply has turned pointless.. disregard the ramblings at the bottom...
erika.
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