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| dmlxoxo (profile) wrote, on 12-31-2004 at 2:05pm | |
| Current mood: blah Music: stuck in a moment- u2 Subject: 5, 4, 3, 2, 1..... |
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| im almost glad to say goodbye to 2004. it gives me an excuse to start over, and use all the stuff ive learned over the course of the year to make sure that 2005 is better than 2004. 2004 taught me a lot about myself, about people in general, and about life. this year, the summer in particular, i came out of my shell, and i started to feel out the way people work, and the way that i work- and i found out that everyone, even the least likely people, make mistakes. this was the first time that i SAW this flaw in people. i always knew it was there subconciously, but when i saw it happen to other people, when people did it to me, and when i saw this flaw come out in MYSELF unexpectedly, that was a big lesson to be learned. 2004 taught me about people: their flaws, their kryptonites, their strengths, and that it is human nature to make mistakes. with every new year, i find that i have this epiphany about friends, when really, its the same one every time- but a re-realization in a way. with every new year i am reminded that no matter how many times i say "edgemont sucks", some of the people that are here, i would not be able to live without. for the past 11 years i was blessed with the sister i never had, who has been my other half since we were 5 years old. theres never a day that passes that i dont talk to steph, someone who pretends to listen to me whine about my problems, and someone who can make me laugh about them even when i feel im at my lowest low. then i have friends like hilary who understands me when no one else does and can always sympathize with what i feel like, and it helps to remind me that im not alone. and then i have friends like zack, who stays on the phone with me until 2:30 in the morning because im upset about something, just making sure i know that hes got my back no matter what, and that he doesnt want to see me hurt, along with throwing in some "i told you so"s "are u stupid? why dont u listen to me?"s and "say zack is god"s----but hey, thats the price u pay for friends as amazing and priceless as these. 2004 taught me about friends, and how when u find good ones, theyre there for you always. i need to treat myself with more respect, and i need to learn to be less naiive about life and the way people are. i am a very naiive person when it comes to some things. i am a very hopeful person when it comes to many things. in 2004, i put my heart out on the table for a bunch of people that i thought i could trust. i was used 3 times. am i blind not to see it? or am i stupid and ignore it. i dont know, but i know that i have to learn to respect myself enough to figure it out and prevent it. heartbreak happens too much for me, and its no ones fault by my own. 2004 taught me self respect and heartbreak: how lack of one can lead to another and how both are ways to learn things about yourself that you didnt know before. i have too much faith in the human race, i always seem to forget that not everyone has a good heart and morals. last week, i brought in chocolates to school for some of my teachers before the break, and went to go bring mrs. longo's to her at 3:00, but she wasnt there so i left them on her desk for the monday she came back. when i told my parents that i did this, they freaked out at me and called me stupid because they thought that the custodians were going to go and take them off her desk when they were cleaning. and at 5 o clock, they made me go back to the a building and get them to put in my locker. luckily for me, i was right and they were still there, but i realized with this that as you get older and experience more things, you get screwed over and lose your trust and hope in people. i wish this wouldnt happen, but i know it has to and wish it would already, so i could prevent myself from the disappointment and hurt that comes along with it. 2004 taught me that i still have a lot to learn. to everyone who made 2004 what it was to me- thank you. to everyone in our little woohu community- you are my world, i love every one of you with all my heart, you keep me going with your advice, helping me to learn the things that ive learned this year. thanks for keepin me strong. so with this entry, i bring a close to 2004, leaving behind the number, but bringing with me everything the year had to offer me, every lesson, every memory, every smile, every tear. TO A HAPPY AND HEALTHY 2005. |
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lizzy | 12-31-04 6:12pm aww danielle you're so cute with all your self-discovery stuff lol. either i already know everything about me or i'm just not really taking the time to observe what goes on within myself. but i really admire how you always take the time to look within and figure out things.
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crazyhils44 | 01-04-05 5:21pm awwwwwwww babesss...ok im reading this a little late but soooo cute....and i love that we have our special esp and love-hate relationship that no one will ever understand and i love that u understand ME when no one else can......i lvoe that u have so much faith in the world please never ever lose that because its one of the unique qualities that make u so special....and just cuz people let u down sometimes.......well, ok a lot....its no reason to feel bad about something thats such a huge part of YOU.........anyway......i lvoe you so so much and hope this year is full of adeventures and boys and laughs and hpefully not too much crying......i hope that we become even closer friends and i hope that 2005 will eb the year of no fightssss!!!!!!!!!!! hehe....ilusmmmmmmm
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