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| tails (profile) wrote, on 1-1-2005 at 10:57pm | |
| Current mood: accomplished Music: Anything That Makes You Slit Your Wrists Subject: Drunk |
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| Tell Me Every Thought You Have On This. If You Think Its Shit Then Tear Me Apart I Need To Know If Its Good Or Bad. So Here Goes. The Title Is Warm Strings I think that I'm drunk My body feels warm This must’ve been What they tried to warn These people aren’t here to be friendly They are here to accompany me On my way to Inebriated dreamland Empty shuttles of good feelings They laced the floor And I am begging to remember more But the guards keep handing me bullets The words slip out tired Just like they did before Begging for attentive ears Your repetitive slurs are lost The clattering And the feeling It’s great to stumble about You hit the ground You disappear without a sound Everyone sees you But there all abound To hit it hard The tears they flow faster Then the dent in the plaster That you made with your heart Even though the words played their part Now it’s cold once again And you’ve lost all friends Your bullets lay tattered On the floor Shell by shell you clean them And reminisce on the pain You hear in your head All the stupid things that you said Then you walk about Feeling normal Regretting the deed You fall fast asleep Until once more Arises the need To walk away From all of this world And the boats and the cars are all ready To take you away, string by string An incoherent puppet you've become But it feels alright to be free |
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| Post A Comment |
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cherylee | 01-01-05 11:02pm it's really good. heavy, but good.
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tails | Re:, 01-01-05 11:03pm heavy? |
jim9nin | 01-01-05 11:08pm it's hard to explain why but i like it |
tails | Re:, 01-01-05 11:18pm thanks bill *smiles* thanks alot |
bleedingsun | A COMMENT, 01-01-05 11:40pm I like it, but I think it could be better if you had some structure. The rhyming is good, but again it would be better if it wasn't just thrown in there. You express yourself very well. |
tails | Re: A COMMENT, 01-01-05 11:46pm thank you ron, thats a very good point. ill try editing it |