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| sherriffsteve (profile) wrote, on 1-5-2005 at 7:27pm | |
| Subject: I love techonology, but not as much as you, you see, but I still love technology...always and forever. |
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| It's been a while since I've updated. I guess I haven't had much to say for the last little while. I'm missing youth group right now and it makes me sad. But not as sad as whats going on inside of me. I don't want to say that God is testing me, because God doesn't do that. I'm simply fighting my way through my own ignorance. God knows that too. He knows that I'm trying, only because I asked Him to. And He heard. I might not see it now, but I'm sure it will come to me, soon enough. I've spent my last few days looking for a job, and trying to find me a car. In other words, I've been couped up, in my house, reading and trying to understand where God wants me to be. It becomes clearer and clearer to me everyday, and I am thankful that God would show it to me. Today I had the weirdest breakdown. First off, I spent the morning with Dan. It was pretty cool. We hung out until he had to go to youth group. Then I took a little nap and was woken up by my sister screaming, "Molly, Molly, movie gallery on the phone." The lady told me that I have a test to take for them tomorrow. (for a job.) So I was like "Uh tomorrow at one." So after that I was really excited. Becasue for the last couple weeks I was looking for a job. But then my dad called and told me that he didn't want me going to youth group tonight because he thinks we're gonna have a storm. Talk about turning calm into chaos. I was so mad. At first I couldn't understand why he would do such a thing to me, after I had spent hours upon hours trying to clean his house and make his life absolutely perfect. Youth group is one of the most important things to me. Then I took a deep breath and realized that I am one of the most important things to my dad. And he didn't want me to drive through the white out. It took a little while to reassure myself that I was acting crazy and I needed to calm down. But it felt so right to be mad! Even with that I knew it wasn't right. So when my dad got home, I tried to not act like a little brat. But I just couldn't help to not laugh when he was picking on my sister. And then when He started picking on me. It was hard. And Kelly don't think that I was crying because I didn't get to go. I'm 19, not 5. I was crying becasue it was time to cry, and so I got out my bible and started to read. I dont' even remember where it was but it was was one of the things I needed to hear. I remember reading it before. I even had it underlined in my bible(although, what's NOT underlined in my bible.)It said “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” It became clear to me that God knows this heart, and He won't give up if I won't. |
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| Anonymous | 01-06-05 8:11pm I was really just curious becuase i'm confused about my own faith right now...
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sherriffsteve | Re:, 01-07-05 4:40pm I haven't always been this close with God. There was a time when my whole life was so much different than this. and I hurt more. But God changed that around. I tried everything else to make all my pain go away, and when it came down to it, he seemed to be my only option left. So I gave it a try, and the moment I asked Jesus to look inside of this heart and make me new, that's exactly what He did. He saved me. And I wouldn't change this life for anything else. He did what I thought was the unthinkable. I guess what made me realize that I wanted more of Jesus, was when I got into my bible. I started reading. At first, none of it made sense to me and I had a hard time trying ot understand what they were talking about. so I went to church, and found out. There I learned more and more, I learned how to pray, and read, and to seek the holy spirit. I found more and more. But one of the greatest things I think you could do if you want to find more of Jesus, is to seek for Him. Just having fellowship with other people and talking to people who understand what you want, is a great way to get to where you want to be. If you'd like, there's a youth group every Wednesday night , 7:00pm, at the Rockford Freshmen center, in the cafeteria. Don't worry, there's no stirngs attached, just come and check it out. I promise you won't regret it. |
Anonymous | Re: Re:, 01-07-05 10:30pm thank you, a lot... maybe i'll give it a try. it's not like i've never been to church or anything before, i've belonged to a church all my life. I went through confirmation and things were going good for a while... lately my life has kind of changed around a little. things have been really different and i've had some tough times. i always trusted God so much and I still pray but lately i've been questioning stuff a lot like even if God exists. :( and i feel so bad saying that but it's true that i've been wondering that....
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sherriffsteve | Re: Re: Re:, 01-08-05 7:50pm Yeah, lots of people do go to this youth group. Every week theres about 3 or 4 new people. And it is tons of fun every time. We usually have a worship time, then a message, then we all hang out and talk to eachother. We have to be out of the school by 9:00 so we usally pack up and head to Arby's or something like that. When I first went there I had new barely anyone and now those people are some of my closest friends. At this place God really moves, and if you really want to know more, it's a good place to be. Well, I wish I could write more, but this box is only so big. I hope I answered your questions right, and I really hope to see you next Wednesday. |
tails | 01-10-05 11:51pm i love you molly moll, but i do have to question. why do you love a god that everyone says is so particular and spitefull in his teachings. and how can one say this god loves all when we are taught that god frowns upon the existence of certain people. if he made this all then everything is how he planned it. he cant hate what he himself makes. |
sherriffsteve | Re:, 01-11-05 4:35pm I love God because I don't live life believeing in what everyone else says. I believe in what I think is truth, and the greatest truth to me, is Jesus Christ. God only frowns because His heart is broken. He doesn't frown upon us, He frowns upon the sins we commit. And God is the God of love. I can't answer all your questions, and maybe there is someone else who could answer them better for you. This is just what I believe. I love you Matt, if you have anymore questions, just ask, I might be able to give you an answer. |