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Fatman (profile) wrote,
on 1-6-2005 at 6:01pm
It's been a long time since I could sit and not feel alone in the world. All I have is myself. And you know what the funny thing is? I can't live for myself. I have to give myself to others. The only time I get a glimmer of happiness is when I bring happiness to someone else. There is nothing for me. I am the face in the crowd. If you don't know me, you never will. Kat will argue that I have made an impression on her life, that she will never forget me, and that is true. However, the only reason is because I gave her up. I felt Brandon would be better for her than I, an immature little boy who didn't think he understood love. Randi may say she will never forget me, and may tell me that she always cared for me in the same way that I cared and still care for her, but nothing can come of it now. She, with two children and one on the way, is married to a man who doesn't appreciate what he has in his hands. I don't know if I touched Jess in any way lifechanging, but one thing is for sure. I treated her like a commodity when we were together. I used her when it was convienient for me, and I will forever regret that.

I suppose that all those lives that I've "touched" have gone for the better, but you know what? I've given so much of myself, I'm not sure if there's any more to give.
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Anonymous

01-06-05 7:35pm

scott...there are many lives that you have touched. I know that you may feel alone now, but with time that feeling will pass. You do not havet to just imapct a person on a intamate level, you impact your friends lives just as much if not more. If you need to talk and feel worthy just talk to your friends you will be suprised. i know that you have imacpted my life, I never would have made it through yearbook with out your sarcasm:)

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Anonymous

From Kat, 01-06-05 7:56pm

Scott,
you are the best friend I could ever have or want. THrough thick and thin you were always there. Threw all my depression I always turned to one thing, my memories and you were in almost all of them. you always made me laugh and were there when I needed to cry. You've given so much to the world we all live in, your light shine threw us all. You say you can't give any more and that you have no more to give, then don't. ........ Let your friends and family give to you and show you the light you've given to use.
With deepest love,heart,and hope,
Love,
Kat

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