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| justadreamer (profile) wrote, on 1-6-2005 at 5:47pm | |
| I don't care anymore if I let you down I believe that I need to be free I'm so used to my life with you around I don't know anymore the real me "Finding Myself" - Smile Empty Soul So. I've figured out that it's not going to change. Not anytime soon anyway. I've 'put up with it' for over a week. I know I could wait longer but I don't feel there's any use in waiting. Not anymore. Hints to being on the good side of Ashley: *Do NOT steal my bed *Do NOT steal my blankets *Do NOT invite yourself along *Do NOT not call for a several days then call me and expect things to be peachy *Do NOT call me up and expect me to drop everything just for you after you never drop anything for me *Do NOT go through my stuff *Do NOT sit close enough to be touching me at school *Do NOT expect me to be a little miss ray of sunshine every single day *Do NOT think you can just touch me whenever you want to - I am NOT yours *Do NOT compliment me with something like "You're beautiful" to get something [I'd rather not hear fake compliments, thanks, especially not for self-gain] *DO give me my space *DO call me -occasionally- *DO give me time alone with my friends *DO understand that I'm emotional and sensitive *DO stop when I say stop *DO take things seriously sometimes I'm sure there's a million other things that I just can't think of right now. Uh.. That's.. mostly.. aimed towards my 'boyfriend'. One definition for 'relationship': A romantic or passionate attachment. Romantic? If you call a hug and an "I love you" that doesn't even really feel like it's real at the end of every phone conversation (except the last two calls ^^) romantic, sure. Passionate? .. Not hardly. I'm just getting more and more unhappy, and I know I should end this but I really am a coward. I cannot do this face-to-face. I'm sure people would say that he 'deserves a face-to-face' breakup but.. Why do people want that? I wouldn't want to be 'dumped' face-to-face. Phone is much more convenient and much less painful.. to me at least. Everyone has their own views on this and their own feelings. This is just mine. Lately he's just been annoying me.. really.. badly.. And I just want him to leave me alone. I don't like it when he kisses me on the cheek. I don't like it when he hugs me. I don't think I'm ready for a real relationship. At least not with him. -- I wrote all of the above earlier before the phone lines decided to die. Now I'm back on and I still feel the same way. I changed my mind on the waiting bit. I'm going to wait a few days because I -am- sick today.. and.. I guess.. that's it.. Advice, be it good or bad, would be greatly appreciated. -Ash |
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ears | 01-06-05 7:05pm I wish I could be there to help. You need a good hug, really bad. However, I'm not there so I'll do what I can with this comment. My advice to you - obviously you need to break up with him. Do it whatever way feels most comfortable to you. Even if it means over the phone. You're only hurting yourself more the longer you wait. I was once in a similar position as you. Believe me, it gets harder. He must not be annoying you that much if it isn't bad enough for you to dump him right now. But you're not happy enough to stay with him. You need someone who makes you happy. In a good realitionship, both partners are happy with each other without having to sacrifice much. Get rid of him and move on. Be happy. Live life. It's short and shouldn't be wasted.
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justadreamer | Re:, 01-07-05 5:40am You're right. It's what I need to do. Thanks for the words. You're completely right in everything. And thanks for the comfort too. Thank you for everything.
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