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| dmlxoxo (profile) wrote, on 1-10-2005 at 6:19pm | |
| Current mood: aggravated Music: sexual healing cover- ben harper and teh criminals Subject: its ironic.... |
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| how just when something comes up once in life, within a short timespan, it becomes the focus of your mind and proves to be true. as i stated in my new years post, one of my most unique qualities is my endless amount of faith in the human race which i came to realize and learned to appreciate just 2 weeks ago. every time i lose all faith and respect for one person, a small amount of that faith just-shatters, and i realize that as you continuously get let down by people in life, you start to put a guard up around you because you've experienced this horrible side to people. ive recently learned that one of the people i used to consider one of my closest friends has one of the most viscious horrible sides ive ever encountered....and the fact that i never knew up until this weekend makes this revaltaion hit me that much harder. its literally like someone just came up to me and took off the rose colored lenses i was wearing and showed me what his personality really looks like, and i was finally allowed to see, that while i always viewed him as mature and good hearted person, that he is exactly the opposite. he acts like hes five years old, getting his friends i dont even know to gang up on me. he is one of the most ill mannered people ive ever met, and couldnt give a damn about what kind of impressions his actions and words leave on people. he constantly insults me, telling me that people cant stand me but hes the only one who will "say it to my fucking face", to make himself feel superior. he can never let anyone win but himself, hes the best thing since sliced bread, he has the best hair/face/body/anything in his posession ever and will hold an entire conversation based around those things if you let him....and i dont. and i think thats one of the reasons he resents me so much. i talk back to him. when he tries to go on for hours about his own pompous ass i dont put up with it. he'll ask me about stuff and when i tell him he'll ignore me and tell me he didnt actually want to know and then tell me that im obnoxious and whiney. this all started in one of his "competitons" that exist no where but in his mind, in which he called something homosexual which in reality cannot be, and when asked what that means he told me to "shut up, ur just trying to defend that fag you hooked up with" and went on to tell me how i act like i know everything and how he hates people like me. but to tell you the truth, i couldnt care any less, because i cant stand people like him. i cant deal with his arrogance and his snide comments and his random pms outbursts in which he curses me out for no reason and acts like hes in kindergarten-- and i drew the line. we're not talking anymore. i want nothing to do with him because im mad, but more than that, disappointed in who hes become. ive been let down by the person hes morphed into since the summer- or by the person thats surfaced since then. looking back on the summer i realize that he may have always been like this- always as ignorant and obnoxious as he is now...but in smaller doses, and never directed towards me. ....and once again change has scarred me. the person who i once felt i could tell anything to, the person who i spent many a day at the beach with, who i laughed, and cried with, who i helped out with advice, and who used to help me---has fallen to ashes. yeah, its painful and yeah, its unpleasant, but sometimes you have to experience things to be able to see the flaws in people, and the pain that this has caused me is just one more battle wound in the journey of life. |
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superspaz | 01-10-05 9:56pm k im sure you make really good points, but i really cant begin to read what you wrote unless you break it up into a bunch of smaller paragraphs, sry my dyslexia kills sometimes.... |