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| Upchuck (profile) wrote, on 1-25-2005 at 10:40am | |
| So I don't know what to do anymore. I woke up at 3:30am and couldn't go back to sleep. I thought and I cried. Last night was difficult. Work seems to be getting the better of me. Finally I began thinking of Friday night when I was talking to Dani. About thinking about things and not being able to wrap your mind around them. And I was calm. I stopped crying, I stopped thinking about how much I hate myself and what I have done wrong. It was like God was telling me that I don't have to understand, that it's okay. That I will never understand His love, but His love will always be there. Then I fell asleep around 4:30am. Then i woke up at 6:30am and it started all over again. I got up and I cried. I called work, got bitched out, hung up and I cried. I went to see Mr. Smith, only he didn't know about Adam, so I told him. I left there and I cried. Right now I feel like crying. I don't know what is wrong with me. I could bust out of this shell and be me. The wierd me, the one that many of you know. The one that notices the three hot chicks sitting next to me. The one that notices that white G-string the blonde is wearing. But there is nothing there. No way to make that humorous or even slightly intriguing to me. And that is that. | |
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brianna | 01-25-05 9:52pm This is the part where I offer words of comfort and warm hugs and tell you that everything will be alright- but somehow that doesn't fit here. I think you should be able to cry, to let your pent up emotion out. I'm glad you were able to but I'm sorry that you were crying so much- things just seem so depressing for you lately. The only thing I can say to you, Charlie, is that I love you and always will. And if you ever EVER need to talk or anything, I'm always here. |