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silentcriez (profile) wrote,
on 1-31-2005 at 6:00pm
Music: word up - keller williams
Subject: for everyone to read
sometimes it amazes me how different things are, how i can look into the mirror and see years that have passed in my eyes. glazed over with distrust for everyone. my heart filled with hundreds of people who have so lightly dusted my life with memories. even if only for short while, i want you all to know that i love you. whether or not i hate you now or if we left eachother on the wrong foot, you have held a purpose in my life, you have helped me mold who i am. and for that i am thankful. if i have just recently met you or never spoken a word to you in my lifetime there is always tomorrow. their is always a chance to change things. no matter how permanent we make life seem. there is always a way to set things right, and in a certain situation involving someone who used to be my best friend, i can tell you that i do feel sorry time to time that we had to end on the note we did. as a matter of fact i do feel sorry for ending at all. but life is crazy and as much as i would like to be comforting you in all the pain ive read your feeling in your journal, (yes thats right, i read your journal) i cant, because i think thats exactly what you needed to learn before i spoke to you again. you needed to learn to be dependant and to cope with the occurances in your life on your own. and what i needed to learn was that i needed to grow up some more, that i needed to broaden my horizons and extend my friends. it saddens me to look back on all weve done, and know that i wont share many memories with you or with other friends ive lost along the way. but i have also met some really great people this year. people i never would have expected to have liked. and i guess me losing you helped me to learn a lesson in my life. and that lesson is not to judge. the odds of you reading this or anyone else are slim to none but i guess it somehow cleans my soul to know its off my chest. to know that these words have been expressed and not held so tightly in my brain. like the rotation of the earth, some things are destined to always stay the same. to repeat until the end of time itself, or at least until my time has come. after going through a hard time in my life, and knowing what its like to want to die, to taste death, to play with it. i have realized how precious life is. and how selfish i was for ever pressing that blade against my wrist. for causing the ones i loved around me to feel the same pain i was. i guess, in the end none of this will matter. i guess well all go on our separate ways they say. and meet new people, and new experiences will pull us like an undertoe into a whole new world. so if i never see you again after this day, after a glance in the hallway, after a dirty look, after a wedding reception, a graduation or 10 year reunion, i would like you to know that i have always been sincere and have always held you close to my heart...


you turn me on you turn me on you have to know
you turn me on the girl is gone so come on lets go..


BlckTangldHrt35x: when ulook at ur kitty do you remmeber what he used to look like
BlckTangldHrt35x: rather than seeing a rag
CocoPuff0210: i can see him exaclty how he was when i opend what he was in
CocoPuff0210: but i see him as the rag to
CocoPuff0210: but it doesnt matter what he lloks like lol cuz hes the only thing i have had forever
BlckTangldHrt35x: awwww lmao like cuz i was thinking and obv when u look at someone.. u see and remember how they used to be
BlckTangldHrt35x: and thats what makes you love them u know
BlckTangldHrt35x: u dont just see how someone or something is
BlckTangldHrt35x: you see everything that happened in the past and thats what makes you love someone

We weren’t in love, oh no, far from it
We weren’t searchin’ for some pie in the sky summit
We were just young and restless and bored
Livin’ by the sword
And we’d steal away every chance we could
To the backroom, to the alley or the trusty woods
I used her, she used me
But neither one cared
We were gettin’ our share
Workin’ on our night moves
Tryin’ to lose the awkward teenage blues
Workin’ on our night moves
And it was summertime

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Anonymous

i <3 u, 02-01-05 5:41pm

amanda i love how you work with words your just so good and i understand everything your saying... i really miss you and we NEED to hang out very soon... i love you and ill always be here even if we dont talk much anymore
MwA:-*
Katie Grace

(reply to this)


silentcriez

Re: i <3 u, 02-02-05 6:56am

I LOVE YOU KATIE!!!!!!!!!
dont hesitate to call me :-)
<3

(reply to comment)


emmyd

<3, 02-02-05 3:20pm

Manda Girl-
you always know how to put feelings into words :-) i love it
i understand what your saying, it makes me sad tho..you've been thru so much, and u never deserved it, ur such a wonderful person who i love, and i hate to see hurt. if i could i would take all ur pain.
i miss seeing you everyday. i miss 8th grade- seeing u at ur locker :-(
hopefully we can see eachother again, like old times, back in either grade, when we didnt need anything illegal to have fun. we had friendship.
i love you amanda maltz.
miss you.

<33
-u kno who

(reply to this)


emmyd

woops.., 02-02-05 3:21pm

wow that was supposed to say
back in eighth grade**

(reply to comment)


silentcriez

Re: <3, 02-02-05 9:54pm

emmy i love you soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much and i hate how much things have changed :( i miss you and i want to see you i just wish things could go back to the days when things werent so complicated and each move me made would affect us so brutally in the future.. i love you and no matter what i always will

<3 Manda

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