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| lifestourniquet (profile) wrote, on 2-2-2005 at 5:22pm | |
| Current mood: discontent Music: Crazy town-Butterfly Subject: Cold feet |
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| Im wondering whether or not discontent is an apt enough word to describe what Im feeling...As I am also wondering whether or not this is cold feet that I have, adding to that the fact that Im not getting married and am therefore curious as to whether or not I can say I do have cold feet. Your wondering what the hell Im on about. Well...It's only the...what? Third day of school for Lauren and already things between her and I are..."slowing down"? Her mother is becoming more and more anal, enforcing stupid rules like "Monday and Thursday are homework days" *Add sarcastic smile here* What is she in primary school or something? Add to that her sociallism has flared again, now Im not going to mention anything about this to her as all it will do will cause problems. But her passion for stupidity at parties is amazing...smoking pot, cigarrettes and drinking herself stupid seem to be among favourites. Im fine with sociallism, but...and how bad is this going to sound...Charn's type of sociallism. The kind where you dont go out to get piss drunk or stoned...but the kind where you go out to see FRIENDS. Not the kind of party where you hook up...but the kind where you chat and have conversation with just one or two drinks...Its smart sociallism...Laurens friends...their lack of intelligence seems at a high...and the constant amount of guys after her at parties severely bothers me... I've never been in a relationship where Ive had to work hard to see my girlfriend...I've never really needed to be in a relationship where effort was required to be together...Although effort to stop arguing was present...but it was always made up after. And it just seems that if Laurens mother continues to be like this....I dont know, Im just going to end up in a very unhappy relationship. I dont know what to do about her desire for stupid sociallism...nor those guys after her. I do trust her...but I worry that she will end up in a state like last time...where she passed out as soon as she was in bed...will leave her in trouble...or hurting me...And it will all end and come crashing down. I could, in a very self inflicted pain type of way, deal with her dumping me....but I could not, in anyway handle her cheating on me, or dumping me because she cheated on me...And because of the party last time, I am so worried that this is what is going to happen. As for her mother...well...I suppose we'll see hmm? I shall leave you now, I complain far too much... P.S Last night, Lauren had a severe...severe burst of confidence...and went down on me in her parents car. I found this amazing and amusing enough to place in here for all your perverted satisfaction, right Jade and Chrissy? *pokes out tongue* Wish me luck with this guys...We've been together 2 and a bit months....I want it to be 200 and a bit months you know? Here's hoping...*crosses fingers* Love, Matt. |
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| Anonymous | 02-03-05 10:07pm How odd that you add that last closing paragraph, which seems to just contrast against everything else you've said. Perhaps you should think about where your real concerns lie. Oooh..this sounds so biased and spiteful... |
lifestourniquet | Re:, 02-04-05 7:51am *grins* It is isnt it? Contrasted I mean, but I fear it means little said person, it just came to mind as I was finishing up and decided to P.S it. Though if you wish to construe it as something deeper and sinister then by all means... *winks* So whom are you dear? |
| Anonymous | 02-06-05 11:51pm Anonymous, as clearly stated *grins* |
lifestourniquet | Re:, 02-08-05 11:21pm *nods slowly* Tis not to trust one whom hides their identity, though seeing as I dont know who you are, perhaps I have no one not to trust hmm? |
| Anonymous | 02-13-05 11:51pm Ah, but it has naught to do with trust, i have not asked anything of you, merely commented. Unless of course you find my secret identity threatening? |
lifestourniquet | Re:, 02-19-05 8:14am *chuckles* Not in the slightest, I hold no secrets from anyone whom I love or for whose feelings I care or for anyone whom has placed their heart in my hand. |
| Anonymous | 02-20-05 9:54pm I see....and i fall under that category? Strange...you don't even know my name. |
| Anonymous | 02-20-05 9:57pm And your taste in music disturbs me... |
lifestourniquet | Re:, 02-21-05 6:22am *smiles* I have no idea whether or not you fall under that category, you very well could if I knew whom you were but alas I do not. And dear person, from the very brief music slots that woohu allows, youve no idea of my taste in music *winks* BUT, having said that, many find my music taste disturbing...except those whom I tend to associate myself with. Not everyone can be a fan of Rammstein *pokes tongue* Nor manson...murderdolls, slipknot...list goes on eh? |
| Anonymous | 02-22-05 6:27pm How can i know your not lying? I mean crazy town? Yikes! |