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mle (profile) wrote,
on 2-9-2005 at 11:43pm
Current mood: . semi-sane (short-term, i assure you) .
Music: . splender . i think god can explain .
Subject:
. ash wednesday was the best thing that has happened to me in a very long time .

god and i are becoming boys again. and not in a jesus-freak-ish sort of way, although he was a good guy too. like, in a "god, i really need you to help me be a better, stronger person." and bit by bit, man, he delivers.
i'm really glad i ended up going to get ashes (so what if it was at 9pm?). seeing everyone w/ them at rush made me feel super guilty that i skipped it to sleep off this depression (ineffective, i might add).
oh yea, PS- i'm rushing sororities. hilarious? i think so. i'm such a weirdo. complete smorgasboard of a person. bid day is friday. i'll let you know how it turns out :)

we don't have to be miserable...
i want you, i need you
i can't live without you
so baby don't move at all
cause you're about to break my fall
stay where you are, staring at the stars
don't ever move at all
. butch walker . don't move .

if i could sing one song for marcus, that would most definitely be it. this kid is amazing beyond belief. he has single-handedly pulled me out of the lowest depths time after time... and i'm beginning to think that he's kind of like god's answer to my prayers. uber-cheesy, i know :)
i just wish i could feel the same type of love i did 2 years ago when i idolized him (minus the pillar candles and bowing). it kills me to break his heart every time i see him, yet i cannot live without this child in my life. he is my strength, my confidant, and the best friend i could ever ask for. i love him.

just scream out loud- i gave more
hardly breathing on my own
i dont have the words to say to you
but i'll keep holding on- i'll keep breathing
it shows that i can...
just breathe..
in time i'll know enough to know better
. the december drive . this side you've never seen .

i fucking love that song. it will never get old. it is by far the most played song on my itunes list... even with it's 6 minute duration. it's the epitome of emo, and the story of my life. sometime, somewhere, somehow... i will know better. and i will be better.
but until then, the search continues...
stay tuned, kiddos. it can only get more interesting...
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spud

02-24-05 11:15pm

hey kiddo. sorry we kinda fell out after the strep thing. my life has a tendency of doing that to me.

we still have to get together sometime. but i'm not in any particular hurry necessarily. well... ah nevermind, this isn't coming out right.

anyway, i know what you mean about the whole "cheesy god" thing. i mean, my faith is about as steadfast as the tidewaters, but it's growing - in ways i never imagined. and really there's no way to talk about it without sounding cheesy, unless the person you're talking to has experienced the same thing.

anyway, i'm rambling now. just thought i'd drop a line again.

if you feel a strange urge to call me sometime, go for it. or email or whatever. i know i'm extremely unreliable, but i'll do my best. and if you're in the mood for philosophical gossip, i'm full of it at the moment.

right.

.

i'll stop rambling. talk to you later.

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