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| thedarkerside (profile) wrote, on 2-3-2003 at 9:31pm | |
| Current mood: ok Music: Joe Millionaire Subject: Stuff... |
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| Things aren’t really getting better. Not at all. I really don’t know how I will make it through the next 4 years. I’m really sick of being treated like I’m an idiot. “Is that on your diet?” my mom says as I eat a brownie that’s not even the size of my fist. Ok first of all, I DON’T criticize what she eats. And second of all 5 minutes later she came out with a big ass chunk of cake. I’m talkin big ass. Then she tries to make conversation out of the weather when I’m pissed off. She always tries to make convo because she knows we have nothing to talk about. Then don’t get me started on her know it all attitude. Don’t argue even in you’re right. just don’t even bother to argue. She’ll have the last word. I hate my mom. I hate her I hate her I hate her. I’d kill her if I could. Then my sister..I forget that shes 17. She doesn’t act anything like it. I think she will tell on me for the rest of my life. I also don’t even understand her. She cant keep friends and I see why. Shes a manipulative bipolar freak. She acts like she doesn’t care about anything too lazy. She never wants to do anything or go anywhere. I’m seriously like going to cry right now. I cant explain why. I’m irritated annoyed and just sick of everything. None of this use to bug me that much before. I hate everything I cant deal with it. I’m too weak. I think I have come up with a plan. Something not too drastic but it will benefit me while also acting as a cry for help. Its about time someone will god down pay attention for more than just 10 minutes to my life. I’m just wondering how much more I can take..how much longer it will take until I break. I can feel it. After taking a hot shower and doing my hair I’ve come up with a conclusion. I have a problem identifying my issues and dealing with them. I’ve come up with another plan. I want/need to spend a lot of time getting to know myself. I’ve considered going selectively mute. And to talk only when I have to. I want to spend more time being observant. I want to also spend time getting to know other people instead of sticking with one or two. I did that and me Megan and it came with consequences but over all it was worth it because I got to meet a really good person who is similar to me and she laughs a lot and makes me happy. I want to get to know Amanda, kally, Theresa, carina, Lindsey, and Krystal a lot better also. I need to make more good friends. I quit. I don’t want to write anymore. Too much drama for one night. Things can be a lot better and a lot different if I make them that way. I don’t know where anything stands right now. I don’t really care anymore. |
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Rob | hey, 02-03-03 10:16pm Ya I know what your going through. My mom sucks ass too. My siblings are bi-polar freaks too. Ya I know I am not exactly the person your looking for to comfort you. But I like the way you think. your cool and interesting.
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arie | 02-05-03 11:29am amy..you're starting to sound like me..heh heh you know the person in christina auguileras video "beautiful" that has like a mowhawk and a bunch of piercings? Isnt that SWEET!? i wanna look like that person!! |