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| xsilentxsuicidex (profile) wrote, on 2-27-2005 at 3:35pm | |
| Subject: I think I'm drifting away from the people I really need... |
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| I don't know what's wrong with me... I'm going to cry again. I'm so hateful and mean, and I don't even realize it when I'm doing it. I keep taking things the wrong way, or too seriously. I've been so bitter and mean to people... People that I love and care for. I don't know why. I hate it, but I do it anyways... I feel like I'm losing my friends again. I've lost quite a few friends recently... I mean, I have a lot of people who I call friends, but only a few are actually really good friends... I feel like I'm losing Keely. All she talks about is Avalon... I bet the one time I write about her in here, she'll read it. I don't know. We never really talk... and when I see her she ignores me a lot... At least, it feels like that anyways. I'm noticing John changing. I still love him so much... But we don't talk as much anymore. It sucks. I just miss him so much... I miss hearing his voice every night... I miss just being able to see him. Meh. The only two people I really talk to a lot on a daily basis are Randy and Aisha. Two people, who last year, I would have never considered "best friends". I'll probably end up doing something to mess all of this up, though. I don't know what, or how, but I probably will. I feel like I'm going to lose all of them. John, Keely, Aisha, Randy... Everyone. I'm just in one of my moods... I'll probably end up deleting this later... But I felt the need to get it down somewhere. So here it is in my journal. ...The end. PS- I unfortunately cannot say this is the first time an Xbox has come before me. |
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CallistoMoon | 02-27-05 6:48pm Lmao . .dont you hate how those statements always seem to be right? Dana . .I'm sorry you think we're drifitng apart . .I could see why . .and I guess we kinda are. :( The only reason I talk about Avalon so much is becuase its one of the only things that make me happy . .another one being friends with you :) DOn't EVER think we'll leave you Dana. I, WE, all love you too much to do that. And dont cry. . .because you make me cry when you do that xD
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blackecho101 | 02-28-05 10:07pm I wish I knew how to say this Dana, but I really just cant sign back on, I am afraid I'll make things worse than they allready are, not only am I letting my brother and our xbox modding get between us, but when we DO talk I end up somehow fucking something up. This is'nt what I'm trying to do Dana, I'm sorry, I'll find a way to make this work. Somehow I knew today if I stayed online and talked I'd hurt your feelings, it seems I'm doing alot of that lately. I'm really sorry. The blood from my wrists reminds me of the days long past, the times I spent loveing someone that didnt love me back. Now that I have someone that loves me back, how can I let myself fuck this up? But obviously I'm doing it, and if i continue to make all the wrong choises I really dont expect you to put up with me that much longer. I am sorry. I love you. Please find it in you're heart to understand that I am joking around alot, and I'm sorry that I dont clarify when I am and when I'm not. I'm so sorry. And please. I love you. |