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| kreyz (profile) wrote, on 3-6-2005 at 7:32pm | |
| Current mood: etc. Music: Twiztid - Darkness |
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| Thanks a bunch Jeremy for putting this song stuck in my head. You and your god damn Xanga... LAST NIGHT Last night was pretty entertaining. I went to the Liquid Room because it was going to be their last concert, because they're closing their doors. Granted that was the 4th time I've gone there, it still feels good being there again. It kinda felt like a juggalo bar, and its a shame that its going to close. I've heard rumors that they might relocate to a bigger place and call it something else, cuz of the fact that it was previously a strict Goth Coffee Bar, and because of two specific juggalos that brought juggalos into that coffee bar. i'm not complaining, but it does seem like a good idea. I would like to see the place relocate, and if they do, then i'm definately gonna try to perform there. Maybe with Drastikill. All I have to say is that even if its a goth bar or not, either way its going to turn into a juggalo bar. But heres the skinny at Liquid. This dude, Alphonso, who I guess worked at the Liquid Room, had his own band and was the headline. Alphonso, tho, was also jumping into other peoples sets and doing some songs and shit, which was fresh as fuck. Alphonsos band was the ultimate in awesomnimity, and I wish i had the money to buy their album, but i couldn't so oh well... i'm sure that he'll pop around somewhere... But during Alphonso's set, I jumped into the mosh pit like 2 or 3 times. Which was fun, up until I got socked in the face. BOOP right in the eyeball, and so I decided that was it for tonight. I have to say that I thought it was pretty good for the first time I EVER went into the mosh pit. Jessika says that if you can't handle it, then you shouldn't go in there, but I say hey, it was my first time... Usually I puss out and claim barrier. At least i finally mustered up the courage to get beat. And even though I know that theres a risk of getting socked in the face, I would still like to go into the mosh pit, depending on how ruthless. Probably never in an ICP mosh Pit. Definately never in a GWAR mosh pit, cuz i've heard that people die in those damn things... Fuck dying. I still have shit i have to do here on earth. But i still had a good time. Jeremy was in the pit for Alphonsos set as well, and he also got socked in the face, but he can put up a bigger fight, and can take more punches than I can. I'm not really big into getting punched in the face, but i guess he is! Jessika was there, and I honestly have to say that I was feeling a little left out here and there. I don't really know how to explain it, cuz its really hard to find the words... Jessika wants to be friends with me. Thats fine I have no problem with that. My problem is that I think that I love her. Not in a friendly way, even though I think that we're both great friends. But she is the one I guess with the problem. With all the stuff thats going on between her and Mark, and now Me and her... its all too confusing, I guess, for her... I really try to stay in the middle of being friends with her and showing her my love and affection for her, how much I want her to be safe around me, how much I want her to trust herself around me, how much I want her to trust me... all that good shit. But theres that barrier there. It makes me feel bad knowing that as much as I love her, that I can't really profess that without knowing that it confuses and kinda hurts her so to speak... possibly our friendship in a way too... and I really don't want that. I want us to be friends, but I'm too quick to love at times... and I believe that i'm trying extremely hard not to show it, too... But it is hard. To be around someone you love and not touch them? Its like i'm in a cell made of bullet proof glass, and no matter how often I shoot at it, it doesn't make a fucking scratch... and the only one who has the key is Jessika... and shes placed it not but 3 feet away from the lock. My only hope is that one day that key is placed in the lock, and I won't have to worry about not being able to touch her with that God Forsaken love. I feel like at times that If I don't touch her, hold her hand, hug her, kiss her, that i'm going to explode and it gets harder to fight off... But she isn't ready for that, she says. I understand that, so I'm being as patient as possible for that opportunity. Time heals all wounds, even some that don't really feel like they can heal... and I figure that if i'm patient enough, those wounds will heal and I can be there for her, possibly for the rest of her life... I know that shes got shit she has to deal with by herself, but all I pray is that it is done in a quick and painless fashion, because As much as I love her, I don't really want her to be hurt... I don't want to be hurt either. It feels like a gamble sometimes, but its either I have a gambling problem or its just a gamble i'm willing to bet on... But at the show, I did at times feel out of place, because of shit that happened in her past. And it causes her to not want to be touched in a crowded area. I didn't know and the first time I tried to even put my shoulder on her, she spun around and gave me this scary ass evil eye... It scared the hell out of me, like i did something wrong. But she didn't say anything until maybe the 3rd or 4th, maybe the 5th time I did something... I don't know why I had to do it even a 2nd time, but i guess just to be sure that it wasn't something I did or if... I don't fuckin' know... But she did explain it to me, but that also wasn't it. She knows quite a few frequents at the Liquid Room, and she would step off to talk to a few people, which is fine. Now i'm not a leader, i'm a follower, and because of that evil eye she gave me, I was scared to follow her. And Jeremy was in the pit, so theres John, and i don't know john. So I was extremely uncomfortable... I just sat there and waited for her to come back, in which I wanted so much as to hug her for comfort, but still, the glass cell... so i wouldnt... After the show, we parted ways and left. I took Jessika home, Jeremy and John walked home. I think I was kinda out there cuz of the eye socking and the awkwardness with her in the liquid room. It was only a 2 minute drive, but still. After I dropped her off, I went home and polished off a tall bottle of Smirnoff Triple Black. That made the blurriness in my left eye go away... either that or it just made both eyes blurry... then i ate 3 corndogs and went to bed... TODAY woke up at noon, and went online for a while. Trevor came over and we went to pick up jenny around 3 or something... after I got more money from my mom as opposed to the 25 trevor gave me, put gas in my tank and went to McD's for a burger or two... and off to I-131N to Cedar springs. We picked her up and went to the mall to go see Cursed. Fuckin' i thought it was a movie about a curse... its a werewolf flick... Granted it was good, and I really like Christina Ricci, aren't there really enough werewolf flicks? I liked Underworld because its both a vampire and werewolf flick... but it was still a good movie nonetheless... And so we wind up to now, where I started to do this, and now we're watching Spaceballs... so now you're up to date... :) Have a nice day... -Kreyz McKormik |
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| Anonymous | 03-06-05 9:52pm Okay, Well this is Jess... First off.. Alphonso has never worked at the liquid room but his band does play there all the friggen time. The name of it is Know Lyfe if you want to try to find some shit online, I know it's there i'm just not postive where. go to www.theliquidroom.net and they'll have a link to their website under the bands section. But anyway, yeah his band rocks the house every time they are there. I think you didn't do too bad in the pit for your first time. I was mostly a wall because i had everyones stuff in my pockets, or i'd be out there too... i'm a tough little bitch sometimes. I don't like to be the girl that needs a guy to protect her all the time. And when i do need protecting, i got my brothers for that.
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| Anonymous | 03-08-05 5:14am Hey babe! I just wanted to tell you i was thinking about you and Hi! :) Lovez ya! MMFWCL! -Jess |