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| spud (profile) wrote, on 3-9-2005 at 6:06pm | |
| Current mood: subdued |
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| i've been so emotionally volatile lately, it's rediculous. i just get so furious at the drop of a hat. i haven't been like that in a long time. i guess i'd just spent so long using her as a crutch, to regulate my anger. if i ever got angry at someone, i could stop it - for her. now i can't do it for her anymore. and there's nobody left i can stop it for. unless they're right there. she helped me keep my cool even when i was 300 miles away, and she didn't know i was mad. god, i'm pathetic. it was really nice talking to jessie, though. i just wish we could've had more time, and a more comfortable place to relax. but hey, beggars can't be choosy. i have noticed that lately. suddenly lots of girls are giving me lots of attention, and that's something i haven't experienced in a long time either. i'm not sure whether the attention had stopped, or whether i just didn't sense it, but it's back in full force. which MAY be a good thing, but i'm not sure. i think it's a good thing. i always liked that. having girls around that i could be friends with, and not have any sort of romantic involvement. the only problem is, i remember how frustrated i would get - being surrounded by all these hot ladies and wanting to devote myself to one, and i couldn't. it was somehow extremely lonely. even if i never was really alone. i don't know. right now it's good, though. right now i don't NEED to devote myself to any of them. well, i shouldn't say that. really, i devote myself to all of them. i guess it's just not in the same sense. now i'm just rambling. all i really wanted to talk about was how i've been losing my cool lately, and that's just ... uncool. so, hopefully i'll manage to find a way to do better with that. |
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sugarjackj | 03-09-05 6:44pm Maybe your getting lots of attention because your single now. Its not everyday you have a chance at a great guy. |
spud | Re:, 03-09-05 6:48pm aww. let's hope so.
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liz | Re: Re:, 03-09-05 7:12pm i was totally going to say the same thing. I mean your super nice and attractive. if I wasnt completely in love with my own great catch id be all about that. assuming that I looked at you as more than a friend. do you thing though and dont worry about devoted to one person until that person shows themself worthy of you. |
sugarjackj | Re: Re:, 03-09-05 8:51pm well thats just what i was thinking.
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spud | Re: Re: Re:, 03-10-05 11:03pm yeah, i know. i remember saying that to you when i found out how you felt. and i meant it when i said i thought you would have been a serious consideration had i not already been involved. so, i don't know. i definitely wanna hang out and talk and do stuff. whether you call it dating or not is up to you. but i'm wary of the whole "girlfriend" thing. it just changes the dynamic. and i'm not so sure i want to.
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.j.e.s.s. | 03-09-05 8:08pm aw spud you're so great. it was nice talking to you too. yay. dont ever stop being my friend k? |
spud | Re:, 03-10-05 11:04pm i don't think i ever could. |