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| fadingintoblue (profile) wrote, on 3-30-2005 at 8:51pm | |
| Current mood: I'm not sure Music: Suzanne Vega Subject: Today |
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| Today was nice. Six hours. Interesting things were said. My car went everywhere. I have a good CD now, and some more beads, and some fruit leather. I also have some things to ponder. I like spending time with Katie. But I definitely think too much. I wish I could just take things at face value, I wish I could stop worrying about how things might change. And this is stupid, but I keep hoping that I'll randomly meet someone. It would be wonderful to go to this leadership weekend and meet my soulmate and finally start dating...but that's just wishful thinking. I'll probably spend half the time feel suicidal and inadequate. Plus a weekend isn't really long enough to really meet someone. I can still be wishful. I know I'm going to be careful not to bring anything sharp. I'm also trying to write poetry, and I know what I'd like to write, but it's not really working. Mostly because I don't want to pick up a pencil and try. I don't feel like a poet. I feel like a fake, someone who only thinks she can write. I'm afraid of mangling the English language beyond recognition. And I'm getting jealous of other people's (hello Katie) writing because I haven't really written anything I like lately. Maybe I'm just too hard on myself. Maybe I'm really the best poet after Emily Dickinson. But I'm skeptical. So far, the only thing I know I'm good at is standardized tests. Everything else I suck at, including coordination, solving things, and interpersonal relationships. |
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kiwi | My writing, 04-03-05 11:10pm WHAT! Lair, I ahven't even mastered grammar yet. My stuff lately has been crap. I mean I've been able to get a few short stories out... but that's it... I onyl said the thing about not writing in a meter right away because I can't deal wit writing multiple drafts... then i end up wante to kill someone or something. |