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| Upchuck (profile) wrote, on 2-7-2003 at 11:47am | |
| Current mood: snowy, not pristine white, but muddy, dirty brown Music: "Picture"- Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow Subject: Lavity |
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| SO I woke up this morning, sat up in bed and the whole room was spinning. I had no sense of equilibrium at all. Because of this I began to get sick. So I laid back down, it went away. Got back up fifteen minutes later, same thing. Told my mom I wasn't going to my first two classes, laid back down and slept for another hour. I think my body was trying to tell me something. I am working 30+ hours this week, but I've missed one day in each of my classes except Concert Band and Philosophy. Something has got to give. Either my classes, my social life, my spiritual life, or my job have to come out of this stagnate period. If Berkeley was right, and were all just minds that exist and everything that we experience isn't really there, it's just a pattern that is the same to all of us, then everyone has reacted the same way. No one seems optimistic about anything. This season is going to drag on and on, the economy is not going to get any better, were going to war that we won't win right away, my education will be stagnated. My interest in everything except sleep has dropped to zero. The keys to a successful relationship: Homogeny. Homgeny in everything. The same societal viewpoints, the same aesthetic level, the same socioeconomic level. That's why Cinderella is such a fairy tale, it will never happen in real life. Some lady spilled pop all over herself yesterday after I had handed her her drink. She asked to see a manager. I almost lost it. I almost broke down and started bawling for like fifteen minutes after that. I don't know why. I don't cry much. When I do have an outlet of emotino its because something has been building for awhile, but I don't know what that is. Nothing is frustrating me right now. I wish it was. I wish there was something that was bothering me, at least it would be interesting. But there isn't. Everything is so slow and so dead right now, there is nothing. The sun overhead warms my heart, Yet my body remains cold. My eyes see the light, Yet my body remains dark. I feel the sweat in my brow, Yet I feel no work. I hear the pounding in my chest, But there is no urge. Then I come to a conclusion, The light you cast is not for me, But for another I can never be. |
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m&ms487 | 02-10-03 6:44pm HEY CHARLIE, gotta talk to ya, it's about 6:45 right now, i'll be on until around 7:30/8:00, really, respond asap!! |
Upchuck | Re:, 02-10-03 7:22pm I'm here 7:21pm |
m&ms487 | 02-10-03 7:25pm Go to woohu chat, meet ya there |
m&ms487 | 02-10-03 7:25pm Go to woohu chat, meet ya there |