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| shannonw55 (profile) wrote, on 4-22-2005 at 4:06pm | |
| Current mood: numb Music: Third Eye Blind |
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| So I guess he just couldn't commit. He's not the right guy for me. But I will miss it. I think I'm okay now. I'm kinda mad though, cuz I made this big long list on woohu that I was gonna privitize anyway of all the stupid reasons I didn't like him anymore. It ended up being kinda funny. Andrea and I would have a good laugh if it hadn't gotten DELETED! arrg. whatever. This really isn't explaining how I feel. It would have been cool if he had told me what was bugging him. I'm sorry I'm not "fun" and that I'm "happy in the morning". I bet you had a field day when I cried this morning. I'm glad I've finally made you smile. We really could have talked this out. You're missing out, Josh. You're not a good breaker-upper. Way to let me down really hard a week after I thought it was going really well. I know you'll never read this, but I still care about you. And if you ever need somebody, I'm still here. I'm completely pathetic. I'm going to go puke. I was wondering if I should jump out my window. That would be fun. Straight into the pool. I wonder which would kill me first? Impact or suffocation? I'm sorry I said that. I wouldn't do it. I'm just being emotional. But ya know what bugs me? I left 1st hour because I was upset and didn't wanna be all upset in front of the whole world. So I came back 4th hour in time for lunch so that I could talk to Josh about it. I was telling myself that I was so tough for coming back. So, so tough. But really, I'm a wimp. I'm a stupid wimp for caring that much to talk to him. I still want to talk to him, but I'm not gonna go beg for him back. I guess there just had to be one time in my life that I have to learn that I can't love hard. I loved too much and he was just looking for a damn fling. I'll definetly be okay in time. I refuse to get myself sick over this. I'm drinking orange juice. lol. Whenever I get upset I get ill. But this isn't gonna do it. Sigh..-hence the reason I haven't been sick all that time I was going out with Josh. I wasn't upset.- ugg. And he doesn't care. So. I need to shut up. One day he's gonna look back and wonder why he ditched such a good girl. I'm a good girl. Maybe that's just not what he's into. So I guess he'll never regret it. Nevermind. I hope we can still be friends and this isn't gonna be some "oh-crap-i-see-you-in-the-hallway-must-avert-eyes" kinda deal. I still care about him. I'm an idiot. I really hate myself. I must be a damn moron for him to only last 2 months w/ me. I'm being dumb. I'm done with this entry. |
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darthavok | 04-22-05 5:17pm *hugs* |
jedibumblebee | 04-22-05 6:42pm boys suck.
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jordanmackenzie7 | 04-22-05 9:33pm Shannon if you're not fun enuf for him, then too bad. If you're happy in the morning, so what? You are a great person. And I kno I'm not the only person who thinks so. If he can't *deal* with the fact that he has a smart, beautiful, entertaining, kind and sweet girlfriend, then he doesn't deserve her! You are better than this Shannon... You are better than dwelling on the past. You are gonna look to the future, because it is so full of so many more wonderful relationships and great people for you to meet. The first few loves always hurt the worst, because at this point you still believe in the possibility of forever. Unfortunately forever, rarely exists at this age... and you are better than getting caught up in forever. I love you, and you better call me if you need me. I will come get you no matter what. 696.4074 |
BigBen61 | 04-24-05 3:55pm Please don't say bad things about yourself, your not dumb or a wimp or anything like that. You freakin rule, your the coolest because your shannon and people love you. Bunches of people can't be wrong, love yourself. |
andrea | 04-24-05 9:54pm Violence is ALWAYS the answer... I just want you to remember that. I will always be here to kick the crap out of any guy who needs it. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I'm sorry that today I was out of it but I'm sure by tomorrow that I'll be emotioning it up to the roof. I'll scream to the world and let my heart break with yours.
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