| -nightsloth- | Re:, 05-20-05 10:57pm . . .
You know. Self remorse is a bad thing. That sounds cheesy, like something your counsiler would say, like its not deep enough for you to pay any attention. So pay attention to this: You're fucked. You've fucked yourself. Someones gotta tell it to you straight. You can be more, actually, you are more under all that shit you'v burrowed into. And i really didn'twant to say that. What would be beter is: stop getting yourself down. Stay where you are. And, at this point, the only thing that may be able to get you back up is pills and counsiling. And that still hasn't seemed to work for you. So, i say again: You're fucked. You've fucked yourself. They've fucked you. Love's fucked you. And at this point there is no way to get unfucked. As I see it, any rays of optimism have been blocked out by you. Yourself. You're a prisoner of you're own thoughts. this may not make musch sense. I'm getting reduntant. The message is, if you haven't figured it out, that you're messed up and nothings getting you out of it. And, coming back to the entry, whoever smacked you, i applaud and frown upon them. You deserved it. But it sure as hell didn't do you any good. And, i've just thought about it from another perspective. instead of trying to dig back up through the 4 tons of shit (aka self remorse) you've piled on top of yourself, crawl out from the side, leave it behind. Unfortunately, its so heavy now that the only way to get out of it is to do like your sister and go to some school. Special treatment can help youy dig a tunnel out the side, Only you can start the long process of digging straight up, right through all those thoughts. And the best way would be to take action. It may be a long journey, and you may not be capable. Start at the source. Talk to her. Take action on tori instead of sitting in the FUCKING CORNER AND BEATING YOURSELF DOWN! DO SOMETHING! What to do is you're desicion. But you sure as hell do it. And if you don't, you can sit there and be slowly crushed by 4 tons, of self remorse, or you can dig out through the side. But remember, if you dig out through the side, or you are forcefully pulled out by some kind of school, or 250 mg pills, it will still be all behind you, You will never be complete. Get crushed, leave it behind to haunt you, and never be the same person, or take action. If, my analogies confuse you, figure it out. I'm not going to talk to you in person about it.
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