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| breezeyluvsu (profile) wrote, on 5-23-2005 at 1:57pm | |
| Subject: unbelieveable upset |
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| Okay, so this has been the worst week of MY LIFE. I know what your thinking. What a drama queen. but Im miserable . I need him. I thought i could do it on my own but i just cant. I cant even function without him going through my mind. I made a mistake and i cant take it back. I cant keep trying to convince him to want to be with me. But hes dangling me here on a string. Telling me its not over but its not okay. My hopes are so high right now your kiss could kill. Seriously... I cant not be with him.. I am barely sleeping, my eating is all messed up, and most of all im being a complete and total...you know to everyone that walks my path. I just need him back. I love him and i wont giveup on him. I wont do it. we've gone through too much to throw it away now. Ive realized ive been a ....you know.. and i start fights over little various things. Things that shouldnt even matter, things that were made into a huge deal. I messed up bigtime and he finally realized that he can do so much better than me. I know this all sounds like a pitty me entry but its not that at all. Ive been bottling these feelings up since my birthday. My freakin' birthday. It was aweful. Now is the time where i just need to be surrounded by the people who are my friends and who love me for who i am. Reguardless if im single or taken or whatever. I just need my friends right now. Dan says he wants space and time to figure this all out. Well theres nothing else i can do. I cant keep convincing him to want to be with me. When you love someone.. I mean truely love someone. Theres no such thing as being unsure. So maybe that was our problem. Maybe we were two kids just throwin the "L" word around like a couple of morons. How many times do you have to tell someone that you want to be with them and will give anything to make this work with them? What else do i have to say to you. It feels like ive already lost you. Completely. I dont want to move on. I probably should because i think deep down i know thats what he is wanting to do. But i just.. cant give up on it. I think about him all the time. Wondering, worrying what hes doing. If he knows im thinking about him and. curious to if hes thinking about me too. Not one minute passes by without him going through this pathetic brain of mine. Im heartbroken. Shattered. Shattered into thousands of itty bitty pieces that will take forever for myself to put back together. But with one smile from you would easily put me back. Its just that everything about him is so. Perfect. Yeah we fight [ believe it or not ] lol somebody please catch my sarcasm. And its always about the dumbest things. I pick fights sometimes just to test him. But other times. Telling me who to talk to . Telling me what i should and shouldnt wear. I quit smoking and drinking for him geez what else can i give? it was like he was breaking me, and just breaking me until i was nothing. IM DONE TALKING ABOUT DAN FOR NOW. BUT SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME. Jenna, i really need to talk to you its this dramatic. Somebody please sence that joke. But Theres so much that has happened over the course of 3 days that...is just....aweful yet... unbelieveable. Just telling you whatever your going through is going to be better soon. We'll get over it or we'll just be happy again. I have no plans for tonight ill give you a call around five. LOVE YOUUUUUUU BABAY! I still love you. |
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jordanmackenzie7 | 05-23-05 7:54pm Things are shitty for me too right now. You're gonna pull thru, as am I. I love you. |
just_peachie | 05-24-05 9:15am I'll call you tonight dearest. Hope you're ok! |
just_peachie | 05-25-05 1:40pm I see you right now...hehe! Don't worry, I didn't forget to call you, and I'm not just blowing you off, I've just been crazy busy lately! I promise I will call you soon!
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breezeyluvsu | Re:, 05-25-05 1:52pm Lol i just seen you!
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