PIGEON! It's not enough that it's like... the ugliest fucking bird known to man, it has to eat all the bird food (which I don't really give a shit about...) and crap all over the walk right infront of the damn door. And the best thing - it's really, really tame. It won't fly away from you if you walk towards it... it just sorta scuffles away. It's like the bird is saying "Fuck you! Come on! Bring it! HA! You just stepped in my shit!"

I think it even sleeps in the tree outside. Now, this wouldn't be so bad, but you've got to understand... my grandparents... they're insane. Like, here's an example. There used to be these starlings in the trees outside. They're kinda loud, and kinda ugly looking, and my grandparents get pretty bored sometimes. How do you get an obnoxious bird out of a tree? You take a small aluminum (perhaps it's steel) baking pan, and you bang it against a concrete walk for fucking hours. Oh, and you scream "SHOO! SHOO!" at them. Well, I don't... but they sure as hell do. Yeah, the neighbors love it.

Anyhow - this thing eats all the bird food. What's this lead to? Every time the thing is outside, my grandma calls me from the kitchen... "JEEEESSSSEEEEEE! THE PIGEON IS BACK!" You'd think it's the end of the world. You'd think it was the chupacabra, come to suck your goat. You'd think that bastard had laser eyes. But it isn't, it wasn't, and it doesn't. Granted, it is sorta fun trying to hit a pigeon with ice cubes. I figure I'll eventually hit in the head and knock it out. Oh the fun I'll have.

06-09-05 10:40pm

I don't like pigeons...they're all...ewwwww....

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