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| .j.e.s.s. (profile) wrote, on 6-13-2005 at 4:14pm | |
| Music: just to see you smile Subject: leaving didn't hurt me near as badly as the tears that were rolling down your face |
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| here , i'll try to write it again. UGH i have nothing better to do. i'm afraid to leave this room for fear of being... i dont know.. mauled? i am extremely happy with your decision. i'm so glad you picked what makes you happy and you won't have anything being held over your head for the rest of your life. i know it may create a few problems down the road but overall it will make things a LOT more easier. i have come to terms with the fact that i'll never please you. well whatever. i can't do anything about it. no matter what i do bad OR GOOD you will never be happy. sorry. sorry i went to Jess's instead and sorry for even telling you. Most people wouldn't give a shit about that considering it's not a big deal whatsoever. gawd sorry for telling you i wasn't even going to bother because i didn't want to get in a huge fight but i decided it would be best to tell you what really happened but no, i'm wrong again. you will never be happy with what i do, who i am, who i love, who i hang out with, nothing. There's nothing i can do about that because i'm not changing for you. Maybe some day you'll be happy with me, maybe in years when i have a life maybe you'll come to my wedding. Maybe once i have kids you'll be happy with me then. Probably not, but maybe. I know I don't have a fucking bad life. Of course I know that but... there are just some things. just..... where's the fucking love? give peace a fucking chance! that last one's for pappy. ugh i need to call her but i can't because i can't get a phone. please somebody call me so i can have an excuse to leave this room. i will never be even remotely close to perfect at all. sorry but i think you need to realize that. i wont be like your other children. maybe i just have a rebelious nature but oh well i really just don't care. i'm done trying i'm done done done doen donde alsdkfjasl;dkf in one year i will be out of here and i can't effing wait. yeah i've been provided with a great home and money and great car and security but... HMMMM there's one thing missing. wonder what it could be.... my family wont be like that. uga;slkgjasl;gkjasdgl;j not trying to hurt anyone but come on. the countdown has been magically subtracted to zero days. Well, in a way. ugh. Oh well, I'm happy with it. God when will people realize? Honestly. I can't wait to just have my friends and my best friend in the whole world with me all the time. I can't take this bs anymore. it's so dumb. wow just nevermind. LEARN. |
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allisonwonderland | 06-13-05 6:00pm well darling, sorry i didn't see you saturday. anyway, i would call IF I HAD YOUR NUMBER hahaha, just kidding, but really, i would. i love talking to you. you're a very fun person.
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.j.e.s.s. | Re:, 06-14-05 4:19pm <3 696-2269 |
allisonwonderland | 06-13-05 6:00pm |