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noahfects (profile) wrote,
on 2-10-2003 at 3:52am
Current mood: words cannot explain.
Music: the used
Subject: catch a falling star
well its been a long time. sure has. i havnt written in this dumb old journal for 1 month and 8 days. but iv been busy. yes i have. to start off with this little busy beaver formally known as sabrina, she has fallen totally and completely head over heals for micah, again. what shame it brings me to say such words. i also have a crush on Morgan, Sam's friend. i havnt seen kat for about 4 weeks now, soon it will be 5. only in school i have. and i await for my night and shinning armer to come and ask me out. the feeling of emptiness is horrible. i am left with nothing. nothing at all. i feel used, i mean on micahs birthday i myself went to his house to give him a shirt i had bought just before incidentally he wasn't home so i gave it to his sister. i also wrote him a birthday card. when he came back to school he didn't say anything to me. no thank you, thanks for coming over, would you go out with me. nothing just o hi. and its funny cause he says i should talk to him more in school. why cant he stop these foolish games and stay with a girl. i mean he asked Barbara out, desspite the fact he said he didn't want a girlfriend. i think he is a bullshitter and i hate it. i sometimes want to shrivel up and die. on the spot. i mean my life is almost perfect except for the fact i dont have him. i mean no other guy completes me. and if he only understood, boy if he only understood.i mean i have expressed my feelings before yo him but where has that gotten me so far? exactly no where. so know i am left with no other option but to give up and stop "waiting and hoping for the best" IM sick of it. iv waited 6 months and still nothing has happened just as a wise person once told me "if he really liked you he would have asked you out by know" but obviously when he says he does like me he doesn't mean it. he's a bullshitter and i cant stand it! when life throws me a course of action i shall use it. but until then i will just throw my cards down and let the world see my feelings. i suppose that's the best way.



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notaword

it kills me to read that, 02-10-03 7:21pm

reality isn't what
it's all brought up to
be. these stories from
your friends of "oh,
i know one day he'll
ask you out." who are
they to say what the
future holds. as if they
are the gods of what
us teenagers call love
or what they wish would be.
you are bright. to believe
that you should lay it low
until this happiness, completeness
or whatever makes you sabrina
comes to you. because im afraid
it kills you to write that
as much as it kills me to
see you this way.
look infront of you
not behind you. <3

(reply to this)

noahfects

Re: it kills me to read that, 02-10-03 7:27pm

it may kill you to read it, but its the truth. i agree with what you are saying. i mean they arent himn and they dont controll his mind. ass much as i wish they did they dont. ii hate the way they contradict the aspects of life. all of myfriends ruin the happiness i have by saying stuff that hurts. but at the same time when they say thigns to briong my hopes up, i like it. but im not going o believe it anynmore becuas ie know that no matter what i o, i will never get anywere.

(reply to comment)
notaword

Re: Re: it kills me to read that, 02-13-03 5:45pm

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! i know im one day early but shh.
i love you. xox

please believe me when i say everything's going to be okay.
<3 kat

(reply to comment)

noahfects

Re: Re: Re: it kills me to read that, 02-13-03 6:12pm

thanks kat. happy valentines day to you to! i love you and i do believe that it will all be ok. lol later <3

(reply to comment)