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| swimfan14 (profile) wrote, on 7-3-2005 at 9:16pm | |
| Music: Goodbye to you-Michelle Branch |
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| Okay this is going to be an update since I never really write in here that much anymore. I'm still really upset about Dakota. Last night I started thinking about everything and I started bawling and I just think I need to let go.I couldn't stop thinking about Dakota and then him and this and that and so I just cried. It was sad.. I blame myself for this and somehow inside I know its not my fault and if any other kid was put in my situation it would be the same thing because its your fault not mine but somehow I always take the blame and it kills me inside all the time. Today I went on the Muskegon River with a whole bunch of people and we went tubing and we went to this sandbar where we always go and we know like everyone that goes there so everyone just hung out and everyone was drinking but it was really fun and I got to see my friends Jack and Casey and they are camping up there so next weekend we are probably going back up there and we are going to go stay with them because they still will be camping but it was alot of fun and I'm getting really tan. I went and seen War Of The Worlds the other day and it was really good and one minute I was scared and then the next I started crying but I normally don't like those movies but I really liked it alot. Friday I went to Emilys and hung out with her and Elyse and we played this game but I forgot what its called and you roll the dice and it lands on a letter and then each person has a card with a list and theres like 12 things on the list and like one of them would be a fruit so you have to write a fruit down with the letter that was rolled and at the end when the timer runs out you have to say what you got for each thing and if you have the same thing as another person then it doesn't count as a point and Emily and I kept getting the same things so we lost, it was sad, it really was hahaha. Im re-decorating both of my rooms. I already ordered all the stuff for my moms room and the theme of it I guess you could say is surfing and I'm painting my walls pink and I haven't picked out a bedspread or anything for my room at my dads yet but I'm excited. In August for a while I'm going to California again and I'm staying with my family in LA and I'm going to work on some acting stuff with my uncles friend Abby who works at a Talent Agency and were going to San Francisco and were also going to go to Yosemite National Park too. So I'm excited about that and I think I'm staying for a week and a half or two weeks it just depends but I love flying in planes now lol its so fun. I am sending my uncle some of my photo shoot pictures so hopefully he shows them to all his little famous friends and then some agency will want me to work for them and then I can move to California and leave this shitty place behind and then my dreams can come true. It will happen sometime. Of all the things I've believed in I just want to get it over with Tears form behind my eyes But I do not cry Counting the days that pass me by I've been searching deep down in my soul Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old It feels like I'm starting all over again The last three years were just pretend And I said, Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to I still get lost in your eyes And it seems that I can't live a day without you Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away To a place where I am blinded by the light But it's not right Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time I want what's yours and I want what's mine I want you But I'm not giving in this time Goodbye to you Goodbye to everything I thought I knew You were the one I loved The one thing that I tried to hold on to The one thing that I tried to hold on to And when the stars fall I will lie awake You're my shooting star I guess you could say I miss you but that doesn't matter now. It's way past mattering now. I don't think anyone really gets it. Nobody really knows the way I'm feeling right now. |
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| Anonymous | 07-03-05 10:34pm howdy jess...just wanted to say hi and that you're special.
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swimfan14 | Re:, 07-03-05 11:22pm what? |