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| mle (profile) wrote, on 5-4-2002 at 12:51am | |
| Current mood: tired, semi-happy, semi-depressed Music: flying tigers - maybe |
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| went out w/ markie's friends tonight. it was a lot of fun -- ive never met so many new kids in 1 night in my life! it was cool, even though i think people were confused that me and him are touchy-feely even though im his "ex" (i hate that word!) but whatever. he was bein a total sweetie --> :) and was so concerned (in a cute way) about me and how i was doing and totally listened to me for a while just go on. im so glad he still does this after 2 years of torturing him w/ it back in 7th/9th grade. he did say that sometimes he missed me and wished we were still together. i dont. i love how this is now: just friends, but good friends. hes been there since the very beginning of my probs, back in 7th grade, and he knows who i really can be, who i used to be before the world turned its back on me. but all night... i kept thinking.. (which i do a lot if you havent noticed!)... at any given moment, im thinking about food or bodies or something related to that. seriously. every second. thats not normal, is it? i cant even imagine what itd feel like to not pay excruciatingly close attention to what im eating and tear myself up for anything i ate earlier. the pure freedom of eating whatever, whenever. omg. i cant even imagine. i decided, if i were skinny, id be happy. but since im not skinny, im not happy mle |
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spud | 05-04-02 9:38pm well. i knew you before the worlds opinion mattered. i often wonder whether it was a good thing or not to miss the transition to the emily of today. i can't go back, but sometimes i wonder. and it doesn't mean i don't care. i just can't show it. maybe that's it. i just want someone to protect. stupid testosterone. anyway. i'm sticking to my guns on getting together. but if that's not what you're looking for, then just let me know. this just feels too impersonal, yet serious. it's foreign, and i don't like it one bit. well. either way, a response will be appreciated. |
| mle | Re:, 05-05-02 12:55am yea.. im all for getting together. i dont really know whats all going on right now so... yea.. i assume w/ your schedule, itd have to be a weekend, which is fine. so whatever, whenever.
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spud | Re: Re:, 05-06-02 10:26pm yeah. i'm probably booked up till june. but i don't know. if you could give me your number, i could give you a ring and let you know what's going on sometime. i don't knwo. ooh. my first cyber number. i feel tingly. actually, no. but, yeah. i'll go now, before i become a bigger ass. |