Add Memory | Add To Friends
Shoe23 (profile) wrote,
on 8-27-2005 at 7:30pm
Okay... so, here I am - to vent.

I'm really pissed off right now. Just had a nice little argument with my father. Every conversation that starts off well always ends in complete disaster. I don't think we've had a conversation in atleast two years without it turning into an intense argument.

My mother is too afraid to stick up for me at the time... she waits until later when he can't hear her telling me that I'm right or that he's made the same mistakes. She will not stand up for me... it's so incredibly disheartening to me when she does that.

The part that really pisses me off is when they talk about me in the other room. They speak of me as if I'm not present. I'd much rather have someone tell me my faults and mistakes to my face.

I'm just too sensitive. Anything that goes wrong just makes me feel so replaceable and useless. I shouldn't be so responsive to everything. I turn into a complete disaster when I'm here. It's not great to see, I'm sure. I don't like to be around any of my good friends on weekends after I've been here because I always feel like I'm taking it out on everyone else and I don't want to do that.

I know I ask for it... all of it. I leave myself open to it. I just like to complain. I feel the need to complain... it's what I'm best at doing.

Anyway, I suppose things are going okay otherwise. Classes are alright.. boring, but alright. I really like my suite-mates. They're the best. We have parties. I also like some of the girls from the softball team a lot. I really think I'll form some good things out of those friendships, atleast I'm hoping to. I went to the football game today. It was good, the first quarter was anyway. Not too much college news, still really slow.

Anyway.. I need to go scrapbook. Later, I'm going to a party with Evan... maybe. I'm not excited about it because it requires driving on a gravel road. Those aren't for me.
Post A Comment
Anonymous

08-28-05 11:15pm

Amber i am so sorry to hear about what happens when you go home. i wish that i could do something. you are not useless, you are very important and dont let anyone tell you any different. i cant tell you that i know how you feel, because i dont but i will tell you that i am here for you whenever you need a friend to talk to or even someone to listent to you. you are a really nice girl and i love hanging out with you. we had a great time tonight going to taco bell, going to the park, getting ice cream at DQ, and just driving around SBU looking for some hot guys. as you can tell we didt have any luck. well you are awesome and i am pretty sure that we are going to party it up some more this week.
you know i am also glad that you are back home because i was going through withdrawl today because you werent here and there was no one for me to go through the bathroom and talk to. it was very sad. well i hope that you have a great night and a good day tom and remember that i love you and remember that i think that you are a great person!!!!
We are going to party it up someday eating our mac and cheese, ramen noodles and watching a movie. well i guess i better go, talk to you later!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
chas

(reply to this)
Anonymous

09-03-05 2:59am

guess who, yes that would be "friend: (dodd)!!! just wanted to say hi and that i miss you!!!!! call me anytime!!!! have a great weekend.

(reply to this)
Anonymous

hiya, 09-04-05 1:23pm

hiya amber! haley here... i was just a-sittin on-line and missin friend! THATD BE U! so i thot i'd drop you a little note to let you know that i was thinkin bout you. hope you have a great weekend w/ Tiffany and the baby :)


(reply to this)
Anonymous

09-04-05 11:19pm

WE ARE ONLY DOWN TO HOURS OF WHEN YOUR 'FRIEND' WILL BE BACK IN BOLIVAR. I MISSED YOU LOTS AND CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU SOON. HAVE A GREAT NIGHT AND A GREAT DAY TOM. LOVE YA, DODD

(reply to this)