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| moomoo (profile) wrote, on 8-27-2005 at 9:17pm | |
| So life incredibly sucks right now. Everything got cancelled that I had been looking forward 2 for a week. So here I am alone by myself on a Saturday night. What makes it worse is my 2 best friends practically ditched me. Oh yeah to make it better I backed into a tree earlier. But no damange thank God. I'm starting to relaize how I've completely fucked up my life. I want to go back and change so much. But theres no way 2, I had so many chances and each time I ruined them. I have like nothing and prly always will. I'm starting to relaize what little freinds I have. David is pretty much the only one that always listens to me lately, which is the raw end of the deal for him. I have no clue why he puts up with me. If I were him I would run the other direction. Seems like all I can do is cry tonight and think about this summer. I hate when I sit around and play the what if game in my head. It just drives me crazy. I wish I had someone to call my own and that would always be there for me, but it seems like each time I do, I find a way to fuck that up 2.Its like I cant hold on to anyone. I'm starting to see what people say about me is right. All the things in my back of my head, that I use to deny what people said. There all right. I guess I deserve what I get.I just want to start over, maybe college will be my chance. Who knows I completly ruin everything all by myself. I dunno, I guess, I'm just a down mood right now. I wish there was something to cheer me up. Till then I just continue to throw myself into work. Which I guess is good for them. | |
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redhawk | Mindy,, 08-28-05 2:16pm After Mike's party got cancelled we had no plans. So how exactly did we ditch you if we didn't have any plans to start with? We didn't. I even told you several days ago that If Mike ended up not having his party that I would just go to Neilee's party. So you knew that I was probably going there. If me and Chelsea didn't go to Neilee's its not like you would somehow suddenly have a party to go to, you still would have had no plans. We would have probably just sat around at my house doing nothing. It's not like you haven't done the same thing. You go to parties all the time without me and I don't expect you to cancel your plans so you can sit around and be bored with me just so I don't have to be bored all alone. And you can stop being so hypocritical about it. You have |
moomoo | Re: Mindy,, 08-28-05 8:54pm You know all I wanted was a freind to hang out with and yeah I admit I have ditched you before, but thats always cuz you didnt want to come with me. Dont think the whole thing was about you guys, cuz it wasnt. Most of it has nothing to do with you. Last night was just a breaking point for me and I've been feeling shitty for a long time and you know why, cuz I tell you alot. I just felt alone last night. I was just venting towards my journal. So sorry if it seems like I'm taking it out on you. I didnt mean for it to be that way at all. I was just venting, cuz I was upset. |
redhawk | Re: Re: Mindy,, 08-28-05 11:36pm Yeah, I know the whole thing wasn't about us. I just didn't want you to think that we ditched you to go hang out with other people. I just already had planed on going there. And you should know its fine to vent, it is your journal after all. Sorry if my comment was rude too, I tried real hard for it not to be, but I did get kind of rude at the end there. And yeah, you really shouldn't believe what other people say about you (unless its nice) because honestly, unless its God or Jesus talking to you, they really don't have much athority to say whats what... well okay maybe just God because even Jesus doesn't really know what hes talking about all the time..
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chelthesmell | 08-28-05 8:21pm Mindy, you are one of my best friends. lately one of the best ones i have. most of the time when shit is happening you're the first one i call. you're the first one i want to talk to about it. and i dont know. i dont really want to sit here and yell at you for saying we ditched you cause yeah...i guess we sorta did. and ya know now i feel bad about it. but listen to me, you've helped me through alot of things that have happened lately and you may no think that you've mayed a big difference by given me your opinion or telling me something someone told you not to or anything like that but you have. you've mayed a HUGE difference. and you're life isnt a waste. i think everyone has what they call a crappy section in their lives and some people get it early some people get it in the middle and some get it late. just think about it...you got it over and done with before you're life has really started. and you dont think you have anything but you have alot more than i have...i mean common...you have more money than me and your car's speeddometer works. (lol) and dont be bummed about not having a ginormous amount of friends. lately, i've realized that there are alot of people that call me their friend...but only a certain amount that i actually consider a true friend. and dont feel like you have no one to talk to you cause you know my numbers and you know i will come see you/get you if you need me to. and you know...fuck what other people say and think. in the end its only going to matter what you and the people who care most about you think of you. and so far...i think you're pretty fucking awesome. you are one of my dearest, closest, bestest friend Mindy. I love you and i really appreciate you. i guess i dont show it as often as i should but its there...and i know people say this and like they dont really stick with their words and people lose touch over distance and the years. but i just want you to know that no matter what happens when you go to college or what happens when i go to college...i will always be there for you. and you will always have a way to reach me if you ever need anything. dont ever, and i mean EVER forget that...
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moomoo | Re:, 08-28-05 8:51pm Chelsea thank you so much. Just reading that almost made me cry. I know you guys didnt mean to ditch me or make me feel that way. I was just really mad and I was venting towards my journal. Lots of others things have been gettting to me lately and it was like that was the breaking point. I'm glad I have you though. Your right we will never lose touch. I will give you one of my senior pics soon. Thanks so much, your my favorite 2. You made me feel so much better, you have no idea. |
chelthesmell | Re: Re:, 08-29-05 11:23am well im glad i made you feel better cause my intention certainly was not to make you want to kill me. lol. i dont think i'd have any chance if you did. you and your ninga chops and whatnot. haha! you fucking hulk! i love that... |
chelthesmell | 08-28-05 8:22pm oh by the way...you STILL havent given me a seinor picture yet!!! *stomps foot and puts hands on hips and makes an angry face* im getting sorta impatient....lol |