| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| rayray (profile) wrote, on 9-16-2005 at 1:11pm | |
| Current mood: *blah* Music: *to make you feel my love - garth brooks* Subject: *never thought it'd hurt this bad. never thought i'd feel this much pain* |
|
| Calling into work tonight. Have no strength left. Im so sick. I think I have mono. Or I am just really worn out. From all the crying, from all the pain, from everything thats going on right now. I keep getting short of breath. Wednesday I have to have an MRI.. (for my knee) The 30th I have a re-check appointment. Im sick of doctors. The only reason I have all these fucking doctors appointments is because of Brian. I should force him to go with me to have the MRI. I hate them. I'm afraid of them. I get scared and freak out. Who the fuck knows. yay I have cramps too.. This week couldn't get any better if I tried. Did I tell you the best part? Mom and Jim got in a fight. She was strong, she was going to get rid of him. Do you think it happened? Fuck NO. He was nice to her. He sucked his fucking retarded ass up to her. And she caved. So we have dinner at smyrna last night. And he treats me like shit. We get in a heated argument. And who's defended, definately wasn't me. We get home, and about an hour later he starts telling me to tell Brian he wants to talk to him. And saying all this shit about what he's going to do to him for hurting me. And he starts crying. My pain is from being here. I am fine when I'm not here. This is not a home. It's not a family. It's a box of pent up anger. Once again, I found myself crying as I drive 65 on a curvy road in the pouring down rain. Almost lost control this time. Kind of funny how I wasn't scared. It was like I wanted to lose control. Just to see what would happen. To see if I'd make it out alive. Someone come hold me. My address is 519 James St. Belding, Mi 48809. Put it in mapquest. Drive here. Hold me. Please. You know you want to. I don't care who. |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
sugarjackj | 09-20-05 10:16am Aww.....................
|