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.j.e.s.s. (profile) wrote,
on 9-22-2005 at 10:30pm
Here comes a big one....


i hate this situation me here and him there and him with all those friends and people and me here at home and going to stupid high school i hate it. but most of all how will i ever get there. my parents wont pay for my college even though they are loaded they have money coming out of their butts compared to most people and hey whatever it's there money. what will i do. i just want to cry and nothing really presents itself as a problem to you. we have no problems . no actually right now there is a problem there is one. i'm sick of school i ahte tha;sdlfkjasl;tjkasdl;gjasl;tjasel;jkasl; i hate it i hate that everyone is not miserable like me. i hate you all i hate that you are enjoying school and i'm hating it. i hate that i'm not getting a's on tests anymore. i hate that i am losing all money with stupid payments. i hate school lunches i hate subs and pizza and tacos and shit. i hate it all. you're everything you are my encouragement and my happiness and my all i just dont know if i can do it.
i hate being the uncool one and the dependent one and the sad one and the loner. i hate it all. i hate you and i hate that you are so stuck up and prissy and such a tremendous BITCH. when i have been so damn nice to you. I was so nice and you throw it in my face and be a huge bitch. The so-called "friends" you have are losers so don't get all hyped up on them. And leave my domain alone please. God I can't even get away from you there now? Don't walk in places you don't fucking belong. I wish I could kick you square in the face you fucking bitch.
I still haven't taken the ACT. Everyone has but me I swear. I'm going to do horribly that is if I even take it. No one knows what I mean. You probably don't even. Because it seems you never listen to it.
I listened to this sermon thing all the way home. I dont know. I just want to be involved again and feel like I used to. Being too busy is always the excuse. Too tired and too busy.
And on top of all this, I feel like a horrible, useless person.

i just want to go cry.

Do scholarships online ever really come through?
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allisonwonderland

09-22-05 11:29pm

what is going on jess?


we will talk tomorrow sweetheart.

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brokenmentality

09-23-05 6:19am

i havent taken the ACT either.

:) i think you're so pretty. and the reason i tell you that is because i dont think you believe it even though so many people think its true. you have the brightest smile i've ever seen in my entire life! and even though we dont really hang out much anymore, it makes me sad to know that perhaps your smile doesnt geniuinly come out as much as everyone hopes for you.

have a good day jess.

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sugarjackj

09-23-05 6:27pm

Dont feel bad jess............i dont take my ACT till December.

:s

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