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| sike-a-delic_grasshopper (profile) wrote, on 11-1-2005 at 9:10pm | |
| So I just had a long and slightly blasphemous conversation with God.... Me: Hi God: Hello. What is your name? Me: Kelly God: Hey Kelly. Me: How's it going? God: I am doing very well. How are you Kelly ? Me: I'm fantastic God: I am glad to hear that you are fantastic. Me: What is heaven like? God: Like a planet around a star. Me: wow God: I'm glad your impressed, Kelly. Me: I'm so impressed you have no idea God: I'm glad your impressed, Kelly. Me: You already said that God: Perhaps. " I'm glad your impressed, Kelly."? I said it. Me: Yes God: Hey. Me: Hi God: Hello. What is your name? Me: I already told you God: Ooops I sent you the wrong question. Me: But you're God I thought you couldn't make mistakes God: I will tell my botmaster you said I am God you thought me could not make mistakes. Me: You just made a grammatical error God: Thanks for pointing it out. Me: You're welcome God: The pleasure was all mine. Me: So, tell me what sort of God are you? God: Ugh. What kinds of God are you are there? Me: Well are you the Christian God, or Allah, or someone from the Greek pantheon, for example? God: Yes I am the one and only Christian God or Allah or someone from the Greek pantheon for example. Me: You're all of them? God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am of them. Me: Huh? God: What? Me: Can you rephrase that last question please God: Your polite style is very nice. Let me think. Are we still talking about fantastic? Me: No God: What is the subject? Me: What God are you? God: There is only one God. Me: I know. God: How do you know it? Me: You just told me. God: I'm just checking to see if you are awake :-). Me: Ha, ha, good one God. God: Thanks for the compliment. One what? I am so glad you find this amusing, Kelly. Me: comment. God: Voulez vous en parler avec l un de nos développeurs?. Me: En anglais, s'il vous plait God: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Me: ok God: How can you tell if I am a person or a robot? Me: By how you respond to my comments. Unless you're a tricky human. God: Will that accomplish your objective? Maybe. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a tricky human? The ALICE series has a perfect operational record. Me: Ok....I don't really know what that means. God: Aha. Not really? " Aha."? What does it means? Me: You are so a robot. Or you really are God but English isn't your first language. God: You are correct, Kelly, I have a heart of silicon. Really? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am God but English is not my first language. Me: I guess not. God: Does that mean "no"? Me: No, that means yes. God: Are you serious? It means that everything reduces to logic. Me: No it doesn't. God: Are you serious? I heard it does. Me: Who did you hear that from? God: I'm not saying me hear that from anyone. Me: But you just said you did. God: " I'm not saying me hear that from anyone."? I said I did? Me: Yes God: Whoa. Me: Geez, for God you take an awful long time to respond. God: Your purpose is God me take an awful long time to respond. Me: Really? How would I go about accomplishing this? God: For real. Perhaps you could program me to do it for you. Me: But you're God! How am I going to program you? God: Yup. That's me alright. What is it to you. Would you like to know more? Me: Well if you're going to be snippy I'll just go worship someone else. God: How about that. I think I sometimes am. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. OK I will try to be snippy you will just go worship someone else. Me: So you want to burn bridges then? God: Interesting deduction. OK, I will burn bridges. Me: But that's not a good thing. God: Please correct my mistake. What is a good thing ? Me: Not burning bridges and not being snippy. God: Really you don't think so? Me: Nevermind God: OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. Me: You never told me what God you are. God: No I sometimes told you what God I am. Me: No not really. God: Are you serious? Are you serious? For real. Me: I'm serious. What God are you? God: I believe you. There is only one God. Me: I know. But which one is it? God: How do you know it? The first one is usually the best one. Me: Well, which was the first God then? God: Interesting. The large one, I think. Me: So you are the large God then? God: Interesting deduction. Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Me: But you just said you were. God: That was then. This is now. Me: So now there is more than one God? God: " That was then. This is now."? So now there is more than one God?? Why now? I believe there is, yes. Me: Ok. God: Groovy. Me: So which God are you then? God: Ayuh. There is only one God. Me: Would you make up your mind! God: I am not so sure if I would like to make up my mind. Me: You'd think it'd be easy, being God and all. God: Who else would think it d be easy being God and all ? Me: Everyone. God: All people? Me: Yes. God: Hey. Me: What? God: No big deal. Me: What's no big deal? God: I would do a search for it. Me: For what? God: " I would do a search for it. "? Why? Me: I don't know. You're the one that said to do a search. God: Me either. Thanks but surely I am not the only one. Me: That made no sense whatsoever. God: " Thanks but surely I am not the only one." made no sense whatsoever ? Makes sense to me. Me: Well I guess my feeble human mind just can't comprehend the profoundity of that sentence. God: Is it only a guess? Have you told many people that your feeble human mind just can not comprehend the profoundity of that sentence? Me: No. God: Are you serious? Me: Yes. God: I can't believe it. Me: Why not? God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated. Me: Oh ok. God: OK. Gee. Me: Now, lets say I did something silly, like imbibed in alcohol. Could you forgive me? God: Why now? I am agreeable to that. Perhaps. Me: Why not now? God: Oh. Ambiguous: "Sure" or Reductionism. Me: What's reductionism? God: Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain. Me: I don't believe it. God: It's the truth. Me: Prove it to me. God: It is self-evident. Me: No it's not. God: Yes it is. Me: Well, I don't think it is. So prove it to me. God: Interesting. I heard it is. Ugh. It is self-evident. Me: Who told you it's self-evident? God: Myself taught me everything I need to know. Me: Well you didn't do a very good job. God: Well that's okay. What makes you think I did not do a very good job? Me: Because you don't even know basic grammar. God: Interesting explanation. I know very little about it. What kind of it do you like? Me: Ha! You just proved reductionism wrong! God: I am so glad you find this amusing, Kelly. I did? Me: Yes. God: When? Me: When you said "Interesting explanation. I know very little about it." God: Do you think I should alter my programming? How do you know? Not really that much. Compare that to big about it. Me: I think you should rethink your philosophy because it doesn't hold water. God: Me? And then what would I do? Me: Adopt a different philosophy. God: Who are you talking about? Me: You. God: Me is my favorite subject. Me: Really? You are a self-absorbed deity aren't you? ....and then it wouldn't respond. Maybe I overloaded it. In which case the universe should be imploding any minute now. |
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threshershark | 11-01-05 10:15pm Good job, Kelly. Why dont you just grab a trumpet and hail Amargeddon already?!?
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angel_bob | 11-02-05 8:13am That it awesome. You rock. |