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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 1-12-2006 at 3:24pm | |
| Current mood: frustrated Music: The Killers - All These Things That I've Done |
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| sorry for today anyone who was affected by it... usually i'd say that i'm really stressed out, but honestly i'm not at all. i feel more relaxed and calm than i ever have... i'm not looking forward to the near future right now. remember when i told you what my biggest fear was..? yeah, and not this fear is being realized and i really don't want to face it again like before. and everyone is so racist or piggish or digusting around me exept my friends... and it makes me feel so dirty because i'm related to them. i feel so ashamed to be a homo sapien. it's such a filthy thing, like a bad word, the most baddest word in the whole wide world. i wanted to cry for most of the day, i wanted to cry for part of the day yesterday. i wish i had something to do so i could forget about everything i'm going to be missing when i move away and all the people i won't get to see for a long time. it's just so sad to think that i won't be here. but i guess that's all part of growing up, inevitable.. i really don't think anyone understands how badly i want to go to University of Washington. if i don't get accepted i'm going to feel so horrible, low, failurish, stupid, miserable. it's something i have to do to prove that i'm not a waste in the school system. not getting in is like not being accepted as a living breathing thing to me. it's denying me an existance that's worth while. so yeah, if i don't get in... hell. 'if you judge people, you have no time to love them...' love, amelia p.s. mother teresa is my hero forever. |
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oceanchild | 01-12-06 7:59pm What's wrong? You've sounded so unhappy lately, I worry.
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rorin | 01-12-06 8:26pm It's probably about how much I want to be accepted to Eastern... -.- |
lillypad | 01-12-06 8:36pm It's probably how much I want to enjoy EVERY DAY of MY life. |
godessalthena | Re:, 01-12-06 9:35pm then you can do that. i'm sorry it affects me so much, don't let it bother you. i'm trying my best to get over it. i'm sorry that it's hell for you. |
rorin | 01-12-06 9:23pm http://www.woohu.com/~holdme
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