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coot1120 (profile) wrote,
on 2-16-2006 at 11:31pm
I am not ok.
In fact, I'm a fucking mess.
I hurt so much right now it's hard to breathe.
I can't sleep.
I'm not sure I am strong enough to make it through this.
I can't concentrate.
I hate being alone, it makes me worse.
I haven't felt this lost since the day I found out my grandma had cancer, and he was there to comfort me then.
I don't know who I am right now.
I hate myself for begging him. Why did I do that?
It's even more proof that I am weak.
And the worse part is I don't want to be his girlfriend because he took me for granted, but I don't want to be without him. Why is that?? It's not because of comfort or history. It's because I still love him and I can't imagine my life without him. I don't want to imagine my life without him.
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michellestar

02-17-06 12:36am

Seriously if you don't want to be alone, I'm here. Anytime. I'd call you right now but I think you're sleeping, well I hope you are.

So this isn't helpful right now, but there will be an end to this. You are not weak. You're going through a difficult time. And it's because you're a sweet girl that you have feelings for people who honestly, don't always deserve them. Take it hour by hour. It's all about people and distraction.

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krystalyias

02-17-06 12:44am

WE ARE ALL HANGING OUT THIS WEEKEND.. I'm calling you when I'm done with work. I love you Ricci please hang in there... I'll call in sick in the morning if you want me to come be with ya!
**major boob hug**

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Anonymous

It's cole, I don't have one of these thingy's., 02-17-06 9:18am

I'm so sorry!!! All I want to be able to do right now is give you a ginormous hug and tell you that everything is going to be fine! The truth is I wish you could do the same thing for me.... That post tore my heart apart because I know WXACTLY what you are going through, probably more than you would believe. I don't know how to fix us! And it's frusterating. Call me tonight! I LOVE YOU!

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TaoMan1121

02-17-06 6:28pm

I wish there was something I could do for you. I feel so far away as to be of no use at all. Nonetheless, I AM here for you if I can be of any service. Just know that we all love you, you are going to be a hell of a lot stronger as a result of all this, and you are in very capable hands with friends such as Krystal and Michelle in K-Zoo there. Take advantage of that distraction.

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Leeder5421

02-17-06 6:34pm

Man, I'm sorry, that is really rough.

If you want to talk about it with me, feel free to call me on my cell whenever.

I don't really know what else to say, except that you will get through this eventually, just know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

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