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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 3-2-2006 at 9:52pm | |
| Current mood: sick Music: Our Lady Peace - Innocent Subject: and all that matters... |
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| so, yeah, i know i'm a fucking whore. i know it's fucking wrong. but that's how i feel. like a monster, like a worthless insignificant person. it's how i felt before you because i don't know how to be happy without you. the only way i can feel worthwhile is by this - being a whore. so yeah. i know it's wrong and i'll fix it. so i don't really know what to say. i'm sorry. i fucking suck and i really don't think i could ever love myself in any way besides the vain and disgusting. so i'm sorry if that's a disappointment. i'm sorry for being me, weak, pathetic, whoreish and everything i never ever wanted to be. so i'll just stop. i really should have a long time ago. i don't know why i was designed this way. but whatever. i saw your mom today jeremiah. i almost threw up. so yeah. i'm so surprised that i'm still alive. i guess brooke was right, i must be strong to be able to not have died yet. and to tell you the truth, i'm not leading him on, he doesn't think i'm leading him on and i have no intention of dragging this out any longer than it has to. i can fucking have friends. so, good night. i really hope i don't wake up in the morning. 'you're always ahead of the game, while i drag behind...' love, amelia |
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Namu | 03-03-06 1:15am you don't have to do it for others. you should do it for you. and if you know about it and still don't want to change it, then fine. At least you know what is true. I just don't know what to say anymore. Honesty is stating that which is true to you, not saying what others wanna hear, so that's just what I did. And I feel invalidated. Do what you want, you should anyway.
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