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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 4-6-2006 at 8:43am | |
| Current mood: happy |
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| He told me about his life last night. It was very sad... His mom is so insane. He told me that he had been feeling pressured to tell me that he loves me in the past week. But he didn't and now he doesn't feel like he needs to. We aren't really in love, he said, it's like we're just in a relationship. He doesn't need to be in love with me, he's just happy that he gets to be around me. I wanted to say it, very badly, but I didn't want to say something I didn't mean. I don't know if I love him or not, so I'm just going to go with not because it's probably true. Being alive is such a strange and horrible place. But it can be beautiful. It's breath-taking, when you realize you're alive and someday you will die. "You can't experience being alive without realizing that you have to die, she thought. But it's just as impossible to realize you have to die without thinking how incredibly amazing it is to be alive." It's beautiful how much humans suffer, how we all die broken, dejected, incomplete. Because we have no meaning in existence without suffering... That's the human condition. It's wonderful, though, to be able to overcome the suffering and be happy despite how aweful things become. Everything in the world means something to someone. No matter what you destroy, it will always hurt someone some how. Sometimes it hurts more than you thought. Someday, I'll die. And people might miss me. And I'll have a funeral and people will cry because that's what you do at funerals. And my stuff will be given away and eventually it will be like I never existed. Because no one is immortal, especially me, who will never be etched forever into history for everyone to remember. "To be forgotten is worse than death." My birthday is in less than a week. I'm done talking about it. I love the spring. "'i thought you said i don't make you nervous anymore..' 'yea, well, i lied...'" love, amelia |
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| Anonymous | Bummer, 04-07-06 3:46am That sux really bad. |