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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 4-23-2006 at 7:42pm | |
| Current mood: pissed the hell off Music: Boxcar Racer - I Feel So Subject: sickness |
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| today has been a low. i'm really disgusted with pretty much everything right now and i just want to throw myself off a cliff or drive a white-hot knife into their eyes and cut out their tongues and rip out their vocal cords and slice off their fingers... and then laugh at them and spit on them and rub salty lemon juice into every flesh wound i've inflicted. yeah, i'm not happy with people. and no amount of anything will make it better because it... i don't even get it anymore. i just can't understand it. i mean... what the fuck? i thought i was done with immature fucks, but i guess... i guess all that time spent pushing people like that away left a huge ass hole for the worst ones to squeeze their way in. and it fill me with a fear. it makes me feel like i'm making a mistake, which i've alread tore myself apart about. i want to believe that i'm making a good choice. but when they just... when can i just do what i want without some asshat messing it up? when is it good enough? why can't they just die? i am making a good choice because you aren't like that. i'm making the right choice because i am a good and worthwhile person who knows how to take care of herself. i know what i want and i know how to get it and keep it. i like to think i understand you fairly well, well enough to know i'm not just a toy. because i don't feel like a toy. i feel love, respected, cared for. I feel Happy. Happy. I'm fucking happy. so just stfu and die. mother fucking ass eating prick "cuntfaces". rot in hell and obscurity. i hope all the whores you have sex with give you nasty diseases because no girl would ever be dumb enough to fall in love with wretched piles of waste such as yourselves. and i'm going to feel bad about saying this later. but right now, i don't care, i want to get it out. 'simply being loved, loved, loved is more than enough...' love, hurt and dying. p.s. i hate my life right now and i want to go cry. good night. |
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lillypad | 04-23-06 11:00pm i know you so well.
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godessalthena | Re:, 04-23-06 11:01pm <3..
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lillypad | Re: Re:, 04-24-06 2:39am process this information however you want, but i think he may....have.....not hate for you. "Their relationship is so clearly nothing more than a thin excuse for Kirk to attempt to get laid. Does she not see that? Because that would make me cry in side for her future shattered innocence."-kyl
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godessalthena | Re: Re: Re:, 04-24-06 8:39am pity, maybe. i don't know if you could call it kindness. |
lillypad | Re: Re: Re: Re:, 04-24-06 8:42am yeah, whatever, just thought i'd show you that. |
godessalthena | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 04-24-06 8:54am thanks brooke. |
| Anonymous | neo, 04-24-06 4:07pm I walk away and the journal entries get better.
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