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godessalthena (profile) wrote,
on 6-4-2006 at 9:15am
Current mood: cold
Subject: suffocating rain
it's raining... a whole bunch...

i was thinking about yearbooks, and i realized that brooke and i still have best friend quotes... it's funny, but sad. i wish this fight didn't happen and life wasn't such a bitch, but i don't feel like saying sorry for nothing and she's not going to change so there's nothing to be done.

did i say i started to learn how to fire dance from my kirkery? it's pretty sweet. i'm not super good at it, but i'm okay... i just need to practice. someday i'll be able to do it with fire... after i get rid of my belly and learn how to bandange my breasts. then i'll be the shit and everyone will think i'm fucking awesome. hells yes.

i move soon! i'm so so excited about it! it's going to be great. and everything will be happy and great and awesome! and i'll be with brittany and kirk and new people and maybe even jeremiah.

so... god i'm excited. just thinking about seattle makes me so excited. i love it there.

i'm not excited for when kirk goes off to seattle for classes then lousiana for family money whatever. that's not so exciting, but at least i'll be able to surprise him when he gets back with my super cool will-powered stuffez.

so, aq got fired, sam wants to quit and skanky might have quit. that's a bad day right there. but at least our new cashier knows kind of how to cook and i kind of know how to cook... i mean, not all is lost...

now i just have to wait until 11. that's a really far time away.

'through the warmth of blue leaves a chill instead...'

love,
amelia
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lillypad

06-04-06 3:09pm

Um. I was thinking about our best friend quotes too. I'm not sad because we used to be real BEST FRIENDS, at the time and that was a really happy thing. I'm glad I had that experience with you, so...thank you, and i don't regret my senior quote, still.
I don't ever expect or want any apologies from you...if that's what you're thinking...I have no hard feelings toward you. Still a little hurt, but I don't hate you at all.
But I'm sorry I can't be who you want me to be...maybe someday in the future...
Sorry I screwed up so much in your eyes. I hope you find/found someone better.
I wish this fight didn't happen either, but I'm happier, and I've heard you are too, so it was a good thing...I think.
Have fun in Seattle...

(reply to this)

godessalthena

Re:, 06-04-06 11:23pm

Yea, I am too, for the most part. Our senior quotes are the shit.
But I regret trusting you. That's my first real regret.

(reply to comment)

lillypad

Re: Re:, 06-04-06 11:28pm

I know. Perfectly understandable.
I'm a stupid fickle teenage girl, but this has been a growing experience for me too. It was a nasty horrible thing I did and I'll never do it to anyone again (if you even care...). Man...I'd hate me too...
Anyway. I'm glad you don't regret our quotes.

(reply to comment)

godessalthena

Re: Re: Re:, 06-05-06 12:00am

Yeah... It was really underhanded and backstabbish. I'm glad you won't do it again, I know I'm not going to tell anyone my secrets anymore.
But I don't really hate you anymore. I'm so forgiving when it comes to betrayal. Like Katie told me: Loving someone means you can forgive the betrayal.
But it still hurts that you did that and I still want to hurt you for it. Just not in a hateful/spiteful way but in a mean, you deserve it kind of way... ya know?

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lillypad

Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-05-06 12:15am

yeah, i know. But you know I did it because I was hurt by you, right? (not that I'm trying to justify it, just that it's kinda funny that you want revenge for my revenge for your revenge for...and so on...)
does that mean you forgive me?

you know how i have opposing thoughts a lot? well, the trust thing is one of them at the moment. right now i'm thinking people aren't trustworthy-the only one you can count on forever is yourself, but at the same time, i wanna be one of those people who can be trusted (since i kind of blew that with several people when i was a fucking bitch to you).

Who's Katie? Is that one of your scene kid friends?

I'm glad you don't hate me.
Even though we're not friends and I can't make myself like who you've become (I don't mean that in a bad/mean way, just that we've got conflicting personalities now), I'm sure I'll always love you and stuff. you know.

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godessalthena

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-05-06 9:29am

no, i don't forgive you. i'll never, ever forgive you for that. i just don't hate you anymore.

yeah, she is.

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lillypad

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-05-06 10:04am

...then do you still love me?
(I'm confused about what you meant by that whole thing about not haating me and forgiveness and love)

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oceanchild

06-04-06 6:55pm

When do you move away?

(reply to this)

godessalthena

Re:, 06-04-06 11:24pm

Around August 21st

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rorin

06-04-06 8:40pm

If you're suffocated by the rain here, I'm not sure Seattle is the place for you, dear. ^^"

(reply to this)

rorin

06-04-06 8:41pm

Oh, and I still have Anna in my quote, so don't worry about it. It'll be okay. At least you have other people in your position! ^^"

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godessalthena

Re:, 06-04-06 11:24pm

Yea, I don't think I mentioned any names in mine... But I could be wrong...
I loves you rorin.

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