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spud (profile) wrote,
on 6-24-2006 at 2:40am
Current mood: yucky ::
Subject: :: damn family ::
so, i guess the shit is hitting the fan in a big way, like it hasn't done in four or five years. and that was when i was cutting myself and just all around being really stupid.

i know it may come as a shock, but i'm pretty sure that i'm still quite stupid. i realize that this is an unpopular perspective among my friends. but everyone loves an underdog, right? i just hope i don't lose my cool. i can feel it slipping. it has been happening for a few weeks now. i don't know what to do with it. i know shannon is already starting to feel the effects. i'm just worried.

apparently there's some court hearing scheduled. mom threatened to kick me out of the house, to which i responded, "tonight?". she didn't say anything. she just kind of looked at me like she thought i was being silly.

but as soon as she said that, in my head, i went into survival mode, you know? (hunter would have been proud) i was trying to figure out how best to smuggle clothes, food, possessions, and where they would be going. where i would be going. but it would be such a pain in the ass to have to change my mailing address. and you know a bunch of stuff would get messed up.

the problem is that the cell phone, the truck, and the mailing address, all belong to mom. none of them are mine. i merely use them, with permission (WP, if you will). if she takes the truck, the phone, the house, then i'm left with the mess to clean up. i'm half tempted just to do it. i mean, it would be a pain in the ass, no doubt. but i could really go for something a little more constant, you know? something where i wouldn't be worried about where i'm going to sleep the next night. and up until recently, such a place existed, right here.

part of me is really pissed, and just wants a normal family for once.

but i have to keep reminding myself, especially in times like these:
a normal family would be boring. and wouldn't that be horrible? boring! i quake in mundane angst at the thought of a boring existence with a boring family. < / s a r c a s m >
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rayray

06-24-06 4:09am

There is no such thing as a 'normal family'.
There isn't a meaning for such a term.
All families have their quirks.
Some are just more intense than others.
I went through the same thing at one point when I was living with my mother.
I left, when I accumulated things I could call mine, that i'd be able to take with me and not have to worry about her taking away from me.
I think it's a phase that most kids our age go through. It will pass.
And I think it's an unwritten law, that 4 out 5 kids must have a parent that is hard to live with and makes life unfair.

If you need anything, anything at all, I believe you have my number, if not, its 616-894-1143. You can call me anytime.

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spinder

Re:, 06-24-06 2:28pm

Not that compareing problems ever makes someone feel better but hey - it could be worse. Just run with what you catch... its all you ever can do.

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Anonymous

06-24-06 4:39pm

Hunter is extremely proud.

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mochababy49319

06-24-06 6:16pm

I know how it goes. wanting a normal family. it got to where the cops were called with us. my step-dad has an anger problem and when he gets mad, he gets mad. He flipped a couch, broke doors, pushed me, and even threw my phone at me. There are many times which I wish that my parents were still together, what it would be like. To be able to say mom and dad instead of mom and step-dad. I hate it.

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Anonymous

06-25-06 2:21pm

That sucks in a major way. But you do not. NOT.
You can live in the Rabbit in my driveway. ;) WP. Which is where I would sneak provisions...
KB

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Anonymous

Re:, 06-27-06 4:05pm

Hey, well you are welcome to stay here anytime until the 9th of July. Thats when my parents get back from Alaska. Not like i think they'd have a problem with you being here.. i'm sure they'd like you if they met you.
-Linds

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