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| rayray (profile) wrote, on 7-14-2006 at 9:26am | |
| Current mood: Incomplete. Music: If I Close My Eyes : Reina Subject: It seems like yesterday I was daddy's little girl.. |
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| Today is another one of those days where I'm awake at 6 o'clock. You'd think I'd accomplish more on these days. However all I do accomplish is nothing. Haha funny how that works out. This morning was different however. Actually, the whole night was different. It was too hot to cuddle. So we did everything possible to make it cold in there so that we could. Neither of us can sleep if we aren't touching each other. We slept in the same postition all night long. That never happens. And when he moved to turn his alarm off, I instantly woke up. And have been awake since. I didn't want him to go to work. I tried wrapped myself around him to try and make him stay. But it didn't work. He has to go to work. And now I sit here trying my hardest to not text him or call him. I know that sooner or later he will text me or call me. It makes me feel like we're a pathetic old couple or something. If I don't text or call him by a certain time, he calls me. Or if he misses me and doesn't want to admit it, he'll call to see what's up. Like Sunday I think it was he called me like 4 times. And it bugged him that I wasn't at home missing him. I was actually out and about. I feel like I've let my family down. Especially my sister. I keep thinking that if I had moved to Ohio when I graduated to live with my sister, that things would be better than they are now. (Not that there is anything wrong with my life right now, I'm incredibly happy). I feel like I've let her and Derrick down, because I haven't gone to college yet. And I know how much they want me to. I don't like that feeling. Making my sister happy, and proud of me, means more than making my mom happy and proud of me. I chose a mediocre job that I no longer have, over college. And now I'm choosing what I feel like is love, over pretty much everything else. I'm living this life that most 19 year old don't live until their atleast 22. If I have kids, it won't be until after I'm married. And I don't want to get married, atleast anytime soon. There's moment where I feel like giving up and just running away, but then I think of what I've got and who comes home to me everyday, who I have to sleep next to every night, and I couldn't be happier. I wouldn't change it for anything. Even though I hate my apartment more than anything, I absolutly love the life I've created. And who I've created it with. Oh yeah, and I'm getting a hair cut.. I need ideas. |
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brianna | 07-14-06 1:19pm That's hard, but you know you can't make everybody happy. Sometimes you've got to do what makes you happiest. And you already chose the path, you can't go back and there's no use in regrets. This will mold and shape you into the person that you will become and are becoming. |
brianna | Re:, 07-14-06 1:31pm Oh and that thing with the phone and calling... yeah. We do that all the time. And I always roll my eyes at myself but am secretly happy because we are truly pathetic and it's cute. |
rayray | Re: Re:, 07-15-06 6:48pm Last night he stayed in GR at Johnnys when they got done ridin' there motorcycles, and he called me like 4 times between 2 am and 5:30 am and wanted me to come down there.. so i went down at like 11 this morning and hung out there for awhile.. and now he's texting me because he misses me and he just called me.. hehe |