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| spud (profile) wrote, on 7-16-2006 at 12:42am | |
| Current mood: contemplative Music: genesis Subject: big book |
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i started feeling better today while i was at work. i just made the realization that i needed to let go of the physical. there's just so much more than that. i lied when i said i wanted to cum more than anything. i really didn't care. i just knew she wanted me to. and i love her. to death. and whatever she wants. i mean, the physical cannot be ignored, but there's so much beyond that. i was getting too caught up in it. i also had the opportunity of a nice talk over dinner tonight with dad, since kevin fucking ditched on me. it's interesting hearing your own father say "i needed half a pint of vodka in me, just to bring myself to get up and go to work in the morning. and i didn't think that was a problem." and then to know that you can tell that very same man that you drink, and have him look right back in your eyes, smile, and tell you to do some research: look within yourself, within a book, within the world around you. no condemnation. no know-it-all bullshit. just honest help, with honest answers. that is truly love beyond anything i've ever been capable of providing. i want that capacity. and i intend to make full use of it. for now. it's time for me to read this book. i can sleep in tomorrow. |
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sugarjackj | 07-16-06 5:54pm So I'm sorry to be leaving so many comments, but im going to tell you something that i have always told you,
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spud | Re:, 07-16-06 11:41pm as easy as someone like me can take it ; )
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eddy | 07-17-06 7:34am That must have felt really good, being able to talk to your dad like that, tell him things it had to be hard to tell, and have him give you his answer in such an understanding way. Gawd I wish my parents were more like that sometimes, understanding rather than condescending. |
spud | Re:, 07-26-06 11:57am yeah, i'm lucky in that regard. they've always been fairly approachable. |
Eddy | Re: Re:, 07-26-06 10:50pm That's awesome =) |