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chuckitatthewall (profile) wrote,
on 7-22-2006 at 2:09pm
mary is moving out today and i'm really sad. i'm gonna be so bored and loney all the time. well not all the time. i'll just miss it during the school year when i know shes in her room working on stuff and i'm in mine working on stuff and i get bored and i can't go into her room and bother her. and at night if something is bothering me i won't be able to just go in her room and talk to her about it. or get hugs when i need them. i dont get along with my parents. at night, i can't talk to them cause they're always drinking. i wish i could spend time with them but it just doesnt happen. mary was my way of getting around them. i love her a lot and now shes gone. i have no idea how much i'll see her and that really scares me. what if its like monica who came home, moved her stuff out, and hasnt been back since. well shes been back but it was awkward and strange. shes no longer a real part of this family. this fucked up family. what if mary starts to feel that way too. then i'll never see her. i get my lisence in november..thats so long from now. actually, it really isnt but it seems like an eternity to me because i have no way of getting out this house without the assistance of someone else. i could ride my bike to her house and i'll probably end up doing that a lot. but san jose is so vast. i can't get to monica that easily cause she lives like 15 minutes away driving and even longer if i ride a bike. arg.

this whole nick thing sucks as well. nothing is gonna happen and i'm not taking it well. i just need to accept it. thats my biggest problem..i keep thinking that there is a chance when there isnt. i guess its cause this might be my only opportunity during high school. co ed school would have been a lot more convenient in that respect. but i like my school. god darn it. mary's new roommate has a brother my age..maybe that could work..i'm not expecting antyhing though cause i'll be disappointed if i do. fuck it. i'm feeling really depressed again and i'm not sure why. god damn it.
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loupGarou

07-30-06 1:14am

Don't be sad, marilyn Warilyn! But it does suck that Mary is moving out. How far away is she living from your house? Hopefully she'll come and visit a lot. It seems that Maureen and Michelle end up over at your house a lot anyway. I don't know if that is different because they are in college or what, but I doubt Mary will end up being as distant as Monica has become. After all, she seems like she likes spending time with you too.
It will definitely be different, but I hope you will be able to adjust okay. I'm sure she wouldn't mind talking to you on the phone when you feel like complaining or talking about something to her.

As for the Nickeroonie, I'm sure things will be fine, whether things work out with him or someone else. Perhaps I shall sing you a song to make you feel better? Maybe he's just bad at saying stuff or something.
I definitely can say though that I do miss boys half of the time too. I like our school, but I also really dislike it while on vacation. I'm dreading junior year, man, yet I don't want to get a head start on any of the work. Dude, this sucks.

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chuckitatthewall

Re:, 08-14-06 1:49am

i feel bad. i never reply to your comments. thanks for replying. cause i actually read them and i appreciate it.

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LoupGarou

Re: Re:, 08-16-06 11:58pm

It seems to me like you always reply to my comments, buddyroo.

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