im sorry i threw a fit tonight.

i didnt want to.

i wish that people would understand that when im upset, i should be left alone, because otherwise, i get more upset.

::sitting by self::

"what's the matter?"

"i'm fine." leave me alone

"no, you arent." i wont be if you dont leave me alone.

"dont worry about it."

"well, im going to." then im going to start crying soon.

"please dont."

"i do. im your friend." funny, now you are? you were so excited to see me and then didnt talk to me all night and now that im upset, you're my friend?

wow. that's great. i have great friends. ones who always stick up for me when im in trouble...they're really great at pulling me out of the mud.

and yes, i know how accessible this is and yes, im doing it on purpose.

this is why i hate doing anything with "couples". not because im lonely but becuase you pay attention to no one but yourselves. you might as well go nowhere with anyone else and drown in each other.

so that's really it. im sick of work. im sick of everyone here. i cant stand home, watching my mum deteriorate. im ready to leave.

so goodnight. i'll do something that i actually want to do in the morning. like the fact that tonight, i wanted to go to Ra with coworkers...like i do every sunday. but i didnt because i was asked to do something else, something with people i was told really wanted to see me.

what a fucking lie.

07-25-06 9:24am

I wuv you. Hope things get better.

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