| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| xvivaxlabamxfanx (profile) wrote, on 8-24-2006 at 6:34pm | |
| Current mood: distressed Music: AFI - Decemberunderground Subject: ...if..you..don't..wake..me..up... |
|
Since I've only been updating my myspace blog, this is an update entry with all of those said entries from my myspace blog.Into the Abyss Current mood: depressed Into the Abyss 8/9/06 Stefani Scheck The darkness devoured her face took her to a place where dreams were dead and nightmares ruled. Surrounded by blackened skies no way out. Screams of torture echoed into the abyss. No one could save her not even herself. No one around, not a single face. Fear in every corner, but leaving no trace. Endless halls and flashes of pain Everything to lose, and nothing to gain. Blood splatter on every wall Terror pacing down the hall. Rattling chains, as though from a movie but there's no happy ending in this one. The ending is filled with emotions so dark So deep and frightening.. That the only way to make this ending happy.. is death. Currently listening: Smile Empty Soul By Smile Empty Soul Emotional Enema Current mood: crappy Emotional Enema 8/2/06 Stefani Scheck There's no more room from all the knives shoved deeply in my back I've been betrayed for the last time I don't know why I didn't see it before How is it that you're so beautiful but so fucking ugly inside? I thought you were different, that you were better than this But you're just the same as everyone else I'm sick and tired of all your shit I don't ever want to look at you again or be associated with you in anyway ever again I'm isolating myself It's terrifying to realize how easy it is to be affected It seems and emotional enema is next on the agenda Flush out the excess humanity and all that's left is emptiness waiting to be filled again with the same false trust and backstabbing lonliness Excerpts from: Johnny The Homicidal Maniac Currently reading : Johnny The Homicidal Maniac: Director's Cut By Jhonen Vasquez ---..She Drives At 90 By The Barbies And Kens.. Current mood: disappointed Summer college program is over.. I kinda miss having that routine of getting on the train in Marcus Hook and walking to the college and doing art work. But what I DON'T miss is waking up at 6AM and walking down to the train station. Life's boring.. I've had some plans recently with people but for some reason they like to blow off plans without letting me know. And others told me they would call.. that never happened. So if anyone out there thinks they're my friend, can you please prove it? It's nice to not be ignored, you know. I got my Invader Zim DVDs back.. I've missed them dearly. Clerks 2 was a good movie. The credits were histerical.. all those damn myspace names... hah. The first Clerks was on Comedy Central the other night/early morning.. Uncut and Unedited.. I taped it. Yay me, I now own the first Clerks and can watch it whenever I want. SALSA SHARK. I went to the mall on Sunday.. new peircer at Body Vibes, he's a neato person. Lots of metal on his face. Said he'd fix my industrial for me for only 20 bucks.. but I only have 12 since I went shopping.. bought Jack Sparrow poster, AFI poster, MUSIC=LIFE pin, and a white plastic ring. Mom gave me money to buy school shoes (I got some sweet new etnies) and the guy that was helping me at journeys was FUCKING HOTT! Snake bites.. mm. And he was kinda dark.. looked a little mexican-ish. Very sexy. It was funny though, when I went in.. 'cause I went sneaker shopping wearing like, four inch platforms (FROM SHELBY!). I haven't measured them yet, but I'm pretty sure they're four inches. And there was some weird dude that walked in wearing some kind of weirdo pattern on his suit-thinger.. me and the sexy shoe guy were making fun of him. ^_^ Yesterday I went to the Orthdontist, and I saw a lemonade stand with teenaged guys working it.. so I stopped on the way back to get some. They were actually making a movie and asked if I wanted to be in it, and I said "sure!" so I'm in a movie about some lazy kids who don't get jobs in the summer, but make a lemonade stand.. and they're even lazy working that. I'm a customer! Yay! And I got a cup of lemonade!! ^_^ I'm not allowed to go to Nocturn tomorrow night. Thanks mother for taking away the last ounce of my social life. And now I'm just sitting around waiting for school to start. Life is fun! (sarcasim). Currently listening : Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge By My Chemical Romance ---[29 Jul 2006 | Saturday] ..If I'm Just Bad News, Then You're a Liar.. Current mood: annoyed Life is fun. Hah.. so is sarcasim. I'm getting sick of being stabbed in the back, ignored, and taken advantage of. I give up. I'm done dealing with people, I'm done waiting for them. If you want to be my friend, then be my fucking friend. Don't wait for me to call (I won't), don't wait for me to come over (I won't). Why don't you call me for once? That would be nice.. stop over, I'm home 90% of the time. Oh, and don't complain that you wanted me to hang out with you the night before but you never invited me. That makes no sense.. if you wanted me to do something with you, but you didn't invite me, OF COURSE I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE! Fucking dumbasses. Oh, and with other people who AREN'T my friends anymore.. STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY BUISINESS. I don't like someone because of my own reasons, don't stick your dirtyass nose into my buisness and ask why. If they wanted to know, they would ask me themselves. Leave me the fuck alone, you're annoying, no one really likes you, they just "tolerate" you (which you CLAIM they do for me.. BULLSHIT). My friends actually like me.. and I thought you were my friend at one point.. BOY WAS I FUCKING WRONG! And don't send me messages asking "Why did you delete me off of your friends list? What did I do wrong?" The answer? EVERYTHING. I WANT MY FUCKING CDS BACK! MY COUSIN WANTS HER MARILYN MANSON CD BACK WHEN I SEE HER ON TUESDAY! And I don't want anymore bullshit excuses like the last time. I want the CDs, and I want them now. And I know you read this, and if not, your "new best friend" (mentioned above) does. I give up with romance too. I'm done flirting, I'm done trying to get anyones attention. I'm done. I told my cousin this, and she said I need to grow some balls. I replied with "I had balls.. but someone ripped them off a long time ago and I'm reverting back to how I was." I'm done being forward. I'm done confessing shit right away. I'll just go back into my little shell and live life by myself in my own little world. If anyone wants to help fix any of this, I'm home all the time, and the phone line is ALWAYS open due to my internet being completely broken. Goodbye. Currently listening : Tell All Your Friends By Taking Back Sunday ---[25 Jul 2006 | Tuesday] I Can't I Can't Stefani Scheck 07.13.06 I'm not going to write your name in hearts I'm not going to put your last name with my first I'm not going to picture a future with you I'm not going to imagine your perfect face I'm not going to think about you I'm going to go on with life I'm going to forget that you were ever here I'm going to turn my back and walk away I'm going to erase you from my mind I'm going to stop waiting But I can't do any of these things You're too much for me I want to break you down and know everything I want to know who you are, what you are Where you've been and where you're going. When you'll be mine. Leave It All Behind Leave It All Behind Stefani Scheck 07.08.06 If death is so appealing Why haven't you done it yet? The cool knife against your skin the warm trickle of blood drip, drip, drip on the floor. Fill your need with the poison choose the vein carefully slide it in, release the toxin feel it fill your body fall numb to it's calling. The icy metal of the gun hold it to your heart press it against your forehead taste it in your mouth trembled finger on the trigger pull it, it's your last shot. Open the medicine cabinet browse your options or choose them all handful after handful chase it with liquid and wait it out. Tie the rop make sure it's tight slide it over your head all you have to do is jump. Jump. Just jump. Whatever your choice, it's going to happen. Leave it all behind. Never knowing what it could have been.. What it should have been. Instead you've ended it... ..why? ---Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before Current mood: lonely So yeah.. life.. wow. Rob is awesome.. although he has a girlfriend, he's still a pretty cool friend. And his nail marks STILL have not dissapeared from my right arm. The bite mark is gone from my right arm.. heh. But as I've been told by a close friend.. some of the things that have been said to me (which are good) have also been told to another girl. And if it comes down to that, I'm not getting involved. Anytime I try to get with a guy that's also involved with this said girl, it always turns out really bad. So.. only friends. I have kickass friends at school: Phoebe, Lauren, Christian, Joe, Leah and Ben (Kyou). They make me actually want to wake up at 6am and come to school. I'm going to miss them once Aug 11th rolls around. I haven't heard much from friends.. It gets really lonely. People need to call me and let me know that they're alive. I got into a bullshit argument with Eric and at this point I don't really care to talk to him.. I just want my cousins Marilyn Manson CD back. I've further proven my point that girls kiss better than guys. Although, tongue rings do help. I've had a recent obsession with Taking Back Sunday.. bought two of their CDs in one day.. can't stop listening. All thanks to Robs ringtone. Then I actually read the words to MakeDamnSure and they relate to a situation right now.. that I won't explain. I've also written another poem since my last blog and the next two will be them. Thanks for reading, and please comment to let me know that you're actually out there. =] Currently listening : Louder Now By Taking Back Sunday ---[12 Jul 2006 | Wednesday] ..I saw a star.. Current mood: okay Okay.. long time, no blog. I have to make this quick.. I have 5 minutes (since myspace has been being slow). Internet's broken, on here at Library. AFI Concert: Awesome pictures, bad bruises, kicking assholes in the head while crowdsurfing. Dresden Dolls Concert: Got Drumstick, met the Dolls, met awesome people. New Poem: Coming soon.. I need to actually bring it to the library. School: Awesome people, lots of walking and being on a train with 43285641306 people. Moore College. Fun. People: Kaitlyn's home, Shelby's awesome. Been hanging out with Jim Barkley and met his friend Rob. I like Rob. I've been told Rob likes me. Cuddling with him is fun. I miss him. I hope I see him today. I guess that's it.. people need to call me from now on since I won't be on aim. And I don't have the cell phone.. so don't call that. Later ♥ Currently listening : Very Proud of Ya By AFI ---[09 Jun 2006 | Friday] ..I'll let you tear it up.. Current mood: sleepy This is so fucking retarted. I don't have time to explain it all but my mom is just a fucking bitch and needs to be murdered. She went psycho yesterday. I want out. RAWRRRR. She took my cell phone. DON'T CALL IT, I might get in trouble. I better still be able to go to the AFI concert on June 24th. AND see Dresden Dolls on July 1st. Speaking of which.. my mom might make me sell my Dresden/Panic ticket. And I need to sell my other AFI ticket once I'm sure that I have it. Lena, if you're reading this, do you want to go with me and buy it off of me? That is all for now. Oh. Only three hours of sleep. Was at the mall last night till 11:30. I know.. it closes at 9:30. Fucked up, right? I layed on the sidewalk and almost fell asleep in the rain, lol. Currently listening : decemberunderground By AFI |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
YAMIYUGI | 08-25-06 4:14am I've been worried about you. Kaitlyn told me why you haven't been online.
|
xvivaxlabamxfanx | Re:, 08-25-06 7:42pm Well, I have a new screenname first off. But yeah, my computer is completely dead internet wise.
|
YAMIYUGI | Re: Re:, 08-26-06 4:29pm I know =)
|