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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 9-28-2006 at 1:48pm | |
| Current mood: pensive |
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| what is it about here that makes everything horrible and awesome at the same time? here i feel like i'm something special but something unimpressive. it's as though my being, my essence is some sort of engima that no one cares to figure out...i don't know why that makes me feel so special, but it's neat... what isn't neat is in that i have noticed that i am like everyone else. i think everyone feels like the need to be close to someone in order to feel good about what they are doing, even if the person doesn't make them happy or makes them feel worthwhile. everyone here is desparately searching for that one person who will accept them and make them feel safe. here they have nothing, no one, except for themselves and that is something no one knows how to handle. being alone is one of the hardest things to ask of human beings. we need the constant approval of others and the constant reassurance we are important and loved... even if the loves is superficial. human interaction is almost like a drug. we depend on it because it is all we know and it is all we feel we need. in order to feel happy we need to have other people doing what's right. we depend on others for our happiness and well being. humans, because they are addicted to eachother, fail to take responsiblity for their actions because it is so convenient to blame it on the drug and not on the user.. it feels like where i am people don't care if they hurt others or they even are hurting themselves. everyone here seems so selfish and feels so hidden and burried and desparate. it's ridiculous there exists a place like this - people making horrible choices because they can, not because they want to. and these decisions quickly spiral out of control and attach themselves onto their hosts, draining any hope of a future. it's so stupid to watch these people go hog wild with their "responsiblity" and their "freedom"... how anyone can call what they do responsiblities or freedom is beyond me. it's embarrassing that i am even related, however remotely, to people like them... throwing any shred of morals out of a speeding train into an atomic bomb's blast radius in order to be completely and utterly lame humans. it's just so disgusting every night they feel so insanely disgusted with themselves they abuse everything in order to forget they need to forget in the first place. it's ridiculous. what's worse is the people who aren't like that stand by, watching and fuming over this injustice they are witnessing and doing nothing about it. (in this i am somewhat of a hypocrit but i have no grounds to accuse anyone because i have never witnessed any of these acts, but simply have heard stories, statements and seen aftermath) what is there to lose? the people who allow themselves to completely disregaurd anything that resembles maturity? is that really a big loss? those people are doing nothing but causing stress and distraction from the students who wish to be productive and healthy. it's diseased here. it's dirty here. but it's new. and it's free. 'some may say that distance makes strong hearts break... i want you to know it's normal to be scared - as frightened as i am, shaking on the floor thinking about where you are right now...' love, amelia |
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| Anonymous | This, 09-28-06 11:29pm This is just that, reality.
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