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| godessalthena (profile) wrote, on 10-17-2006 at 5:12pm | |
| Music: snow patrol - you could be happy Subject: and i won't know... |
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| if it isn't one thing it's another... i'm no longer stressed about fitting in, being loved or having friends... all that is good and i'm perfectly fine with being alone or having friends or not having friends or anything. it's all good there... but now it's my body. and it's my future. and it's what i may or may not get to do... or what i'll have to do on my own... but mostly it's my body. i've always been worried about not being able to have kids, but now i'm seriously worried that i won't have kids... and it's scary and stressful... i know it probably isn't anything that serious, but i'm so scared that it might be... and i don't want it to be serious... i just want to be normal again and not have to worry about cancer or tumors or anything else... infections... disease... anything. i just want to be a normal girl. and then my future. i want to do art. i want to be an artist. i want to go to digipen and do the art there. and work on video games and all that good stuff... i mean... i feel like i've been denying my artist side since i've been in highschool because i've been trying to be what my parents want... what i want to be is an artist... i love music, drawing, writing... all that good stuff and here i am at a science school attempting to become something that i don't really want to be and it has no practical use... it's just... i know i want to be an artist. i want to be good at what i love. and i really feel digipen will help me reach that goal. i just hope my parents can see that and understand. i know everything will turn out fine in the end.... i just hope... that i'm right... i want... to lie... and forget all this for a little while... i just want to be an existence... i don't want to be concious... |
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angel_bob | 10-17-06 11:11pm I hope everything body wise will be well. Just if there's something going on, go to the doctor ASAP. |
rorin | 10-19-06 6:42pm don't say that... you'll go into coma... and that'd be bad.
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