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| robbingnovember (profile) wrote, on 12-26-2006 at 1:06am | |
| Subject: I carry you around in the background |
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| When is the cut off point? How long will it be until it becomes NOT okay for me to NOT be over this? ... oh, you say you are sick of it already. well, i am not over it. I really don't know if i am going to get over this. And yes I still want to talk about it. And yes I can't listen to certain songs without feeling like I am being ripped apart. And yes I hate to see people in love. And yes I fucking check my phone all the time to see if I have a missed call. I never have a fucking missed call.. not from him. Yes, everything reminds me of him. I will never get away from cigarettes and alcohol. And I would cry about this every day if I didn't stop myself. Sometimes I think I still need him.. i really needed him. I needed him to need me.. and I don't know if he ever did.. he wanted me. and I don't even know why. and anyway he stopped. i haven't thought I was pretty in so long. I just go around feeling so second rate and pretending I don't feel that way. I haven't done anything since he has left. I'm just watching my life go by. I need a big change. I know I need a big change. Oh god, I can't get over this. He's already forgotten me. I am so bored and tired. I hate feeling this way. I hate just sitting around. I broke up with him, but he left me. He left me. I keep thinking "I need him"... what has become of me? At least he didn't keep me around to waste away .. to be the one who always unconditionally cares. .... as I am wasting away. I need to cut so many things out of my life. I wish I could. I know I am strong, but sometimes it is so hard to remember. He will never need me or want me again. someone help me. I was so much smarter than this. |
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| Anonymous | 12-28-06 11:47pm you broke up with him. Even if he "left you" you still broke up with him. You still did something empowering and don't you forget that.
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