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| xjayk (profile) wrote, on 1-16-2007 at 9:11pm | |
| Current mood: distressed Music: Blue October - Into the Ocean |
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| As my thoughts play out I'm left with the realization that my life has taken an abrupt turn. It's been taking alot of those recently. The weekend left me to my thoughts, negative ones at that. I've realized I'm exactly what I hate yet love in the same manner, and that I am no longer able to look at a child in the same way as I did before without tears swelling in my eyes and regretful memories. Like everyone has told me lately "theres absolutely nothing that could have changed" and I guess it's a true statement, but if it truely were, if there really was nothing I could have possibly done then why am I left in such agony. School has passed much slower now...thank god it wont be to long before I'm out on leave for awhile. I need to get out, I need to get away. 'If god could respond what would he say?' I should go to bed. That is all I truely can say I do anymore. My body is shutting down while my mind is fast at work, why couldn't it be the other way around? I want to stop thinking: even if momentarily. Just stop. |
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acidtears | 01-26-07 10:59pm Thanks Leesh :] |