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unbleachedblond (profile) wrote,
on 2-23-2003 at 7:54pm
Current mood: pissed/frustrated
Subject: religion
i'm so tired of this.

it all started when mom said, "your little brother expressed interest in coming to adoration with me. would u care to join us?" i politely declined her offer. She persists on, "why not?" I calmly replyed "because i have no interest in doing so. please drop it." yet she goes on, "u know, praying before the blessed sacrament can really do miracles." At this time im getting annoyed, and while trying to maintain a level voice, i reply "mom, just stop talking. i already said i dont wanna go." she then makes some comment like "i hope this unbelief is just a phase." at this, i sarcastically snicker. she goes on to ask if i'd pray about it. i scoff "i cant remember the last time i prayed" - (i "pray" at dinner but thats just reciting). She says something about how my "unbelief" better change. at this point im getting pissed but trying to control my anger. i say, "drop it". Yet she continues "why should i?" Now im thoroughly pissed.
me: "im tired of you trying to force me into believing the crap u do"
her: "what did u say?" (i was pissing her off)
me: "i said, quit trying to force me to believe in your religious crap"
her: dont u ever say that again" (shes mad)
me: "say what?"
her(ignoring my question): "u really need to talk ot god...when was the last time u went to confession?"
i just started laughing, which pissed her off een more.
her: "stop laughing! this is serious."
me: "no its not - its all a bunch of crap."
her:"dont u dare say that!"
me:"What? that its a bunch of crap?"
her: "stop it! ur blaspheming and i dont wanna hear any more of it!"
me: "you started it - why cant u just let me believe what i believe and leave me alone?"
her:"because what u 'believe' is wrong."
me: "so ur saying that all ur non-catholic friends are wrong? connie? jayne?tom+vera?"
her: "Get out of here."
me:"im right arent i?"
her:"GET OUT!"
i leave.

im so tired of her trying to force her religion on me. shes made so many negative comments towards me about it and im sick of it. i cant just stop believing what i do. and dad agrees w/ me. but he just lets mom rant and rave and doesnt stick up for himself. i mean, we all believe in the same god so why doesnt she just leave me alone. im just so sick of it. shes made comments before like, "oh, is ur church better than ours now?" i know that she wouldnt let me go to rez life if weezer or tony didnt give me rides. i really like rez life because they dont judge u - its nondenominational. they treat everyone as equals and never pull the "if u dont believe this, ur going to hell card". i like rez life and hope to continue going there. at first, mom seemed almost glad that i found a church that i like going to. now she seems mad that i like this one 100 times better than i do her church. i just wish she would lay off...
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jburt1

02-23-03 11:49pm

Jill...
I feel your pain. My mom can be like that sometimes. I don't believe 100% in catholicism. It's too bad that your mom has to be like that. I'm thinking that either
1) she knows the catholic faith is right
or
2) she's not totally sure of her faith, so she tries to push it on others to reassure herself.
Whatta you think?

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auntjemima112

Re:, 02-26-03 12:31pm

justin...
she knows the catholic faith is "right"...she just doesn't know how to preach it so that others will listen.

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auntjemima112

patience is a virtue..., 02-26-03 12:28pm

i understand where you're coming from, and i'm not choosing sides. believe what you want, cuz nobody can tell you otherwise. you're too much of a stubborn bitch anyways, they'd just be wasting their breath :). but you have to realize where mom is coming from and give her some credit. she's worked hard against tons of obstacles on her faith. it obviously means a lot to her. do you have any idea how hard her and grandma betty worked to find a priest that would marry her and dad after his divorce? it meant that much to her to get married in a catholic church, and as it was, they couldn't. she's busting her ass, and you've seen and felt the negative effects on her person, to send us to catholic (overpriced but quality) school. if you think about it, she really can't do anything she wants because she's always involved in something w/ the money battle, whether it be fundraisers or her job. you and i are old enough to remember the way she used to be before we went to catholic school, when public school was free and she didn't have to worry about it. she was happier and more fun to be around. she used to take us places and do stuff with us cuz she had the time. she's given all that up for us. now that i'm in college, i think she sees how her work is starting to pay off. i am better off than i would be had i stayed in public school. everytime she brings the point up in one of your arguments that she's working hard to send you to catholic, you blow her off. that hurts her alot, considering how many personal freedoms she's given up. just let her know that you understand that she's doing this although she doesn't have to, and you appreciate it, but you don't consider that a point to argue over also. as mom's former #1 enemy, you should trust me on how to deal w/ things peacefully. gabe actually made some comment to her a few weeks ago that you and autumn always read to him, because she was always too busy doing T.R.I.P. can you imagine how badly that must have hurt her? she's working her ass off so much that she doesn't have enough time to do all the "mom" stuff...she actually cried that night to dad that she wasn't a good mother. i really feel for her- she's placed herself in such a situation, with our best interests in mind.
as far as your religious choice goes, you are right in thinking that mom was happy you at least found a church. but the reason she acts like she does is partially grandma's fault. grandma rose was such a staunch catholic, and grandma betty inherited that. under catholicism, one of the duties as a parent that you agree to when you get your child baptized is to do everything in your power to raise them and guide them in the catholic faith until they are old enough to undertake it themselves, which we agree to at confirmation. i wish you would have had the courage to speak up before you got confirmed- confirmation is when you are considered an adult in the catholic church. when you get confirmed, you are taking those vows that your parents took for you; that you will be active in the catholic faith. anyways, as parents if your child misses church (missing church is a mortal sin), that mortal sin goes on your soul rather than your child's, as you are their guide. mom is feeling that as long as you are under her roof and not quite an adult, it is her catholic duty to still guide you. she feels as if she failed, and of course your "don't push your religious crap on me" comments don't help much, even if she does tend to push it. rather, it makes her think you need help even more. this battle isn't going to go away. you need to figure out a way to end each argument peacefully yet holding your own.
i know how dad feels about this, and that is the reason he stays out of it. he is the only person out of the wendlowsky side of the family that IS NOT CATHOLIC. think about it--al, rich, cindy--they all converted. he still gets pressure from grandma betty now and then--scapular medals and books--to follow suit. he deals with it peacefully though. follow his example. ask him how to deal with it, cuz he can help you better than i can since he actually experiences this more. that's the best way to stand up for what you believe in, not insulting and hurting mom because you know where to hit her. good luck.

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unbleachedblond

Re: patience is a virtue..., 02-26-03 10:11pm

ic...thx for the advice. im just too damn stubborn and she pisses me off. ahhhh!!! its annoying but i'll try anywaz. i know what u mean bout grandma...whenever she passes me coming back from communion,she sighs and pats my knee - thats annoying. but anywaz, i'll try - thx for the input.

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