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m&ms487 (profile) wrote,
on 3-7-2007 at 8:25pm |
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Oh god. My mother.
Rueben and I are moving probably moving in together next year up at Mt. Pleasant, and for many reasons, but the main one being money. It's so much cheaper to live outside of town than in a dorm. My mother doesn't like the idea of us living together because we aren't married. She has told me flat out that it's immoral and she doesn't understand why we have to live together. She also said that she thinks if we live together now, we won't get married, or if we do, we won't value it as much.
I could not disagree more. We are from two very different generations. If she wanted me to be conservative, then she should have raised me like she was raised, being Catholic and getting yelled at all the time for doing things that weren't normal. How can she pass judgement on my life, what I want to do, when she all she does is complain about her life. She complains about my dad every time I'm home. All day. Every day. She complains about how my brother and I don't do enough around the house (and I'm not even there). She complains about work and drinks way too much when she's alone here because my dad works third shift and she works first.
My feelings have been clashing so much lately. I've been at home, work, and observing at school. I feel like I'm being drawn back and reliving the past ten years of my life. It's nice, it's comfortable, because it's what I'm use to. But then, being here for only a couple days reminds me why I was so anxious to get the hell out of here. It's things like that which made me move sixty miles away and limit contact to a few ten minute phone conversations a week. I don't miss it as much as I thought I did. It's not worth feeling "normal" to be here and having to consider any other people's judgement but my own. I know I'm young, but I know what I want in life. I know the difference between right and wrong, and I know how to treat others with respect. I don't need other people telling me how to live my life, especially when they don't know what kind of situation I might be in.
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.j.e.s.s. | 03-07-07 9:02pm k michelle, i am NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT trying to preach AT ALL. and you can totally ignore what i'm saying i wont be upset if you do or anything i honestly am just giving my opinion that i have on the matter just because i'm in that situation right now.
don't get me wrong i LOVE living with roman , he's my best friend so it's like a constant slumber party or something with your best friend you know? and you always have your best friend with you. and you're never missing each other. that part i love
BUT i do think your mom has a point ( oh gosh i know you probably just got mad by me saying that but i'm sorry!!!) about that when you guys get married you wont value it as much. well, actually i wouldn't really put it in those words. you could still value it as much , i just feel that not much would change. okay i'm not making sense. What i mean is that if you guys live together for however long... 2 , 3 years or whatever and then get married it's like nothing really changes. That is the reason that me and roman might not live togehter anymore in the future. we fully plan on getting married, but not until we graduate college or have careers so right now we feel like we are already married and i always get kinda sad thinking about when our wedding day comes and we get back form the honeymoon and then we just.... come home...to our same old same old apartment or house and do the same old same old thing ... i dont think we would value our marriage any less I just think it woud be less exciting and maybe just kind of feel kind of sad that there is no real CHANGE besides now we have rings on our fingers and a marriage license and the vows of course
oh i hope you know what i'msaying .. and i'm not sayingthat you would feel the same way i do or anything i am just offering my opinion. perhaps the pros outweigh the cons here, but i dont know, just give it a little thought about how it would kind of feel like you guys are already married when you live together. sometimes i just wish me and roman were already married because i get the feeling i am living immorally but that's just me and i dnot know your beliefs or anything.
the other thing about living together is that of course just like anyone would say it can be annoying being together 24/7 it can sometimes make you go CRAZY but i duno. it still is nice to be with your best friend all the time. oh and one last thing , its kinda annoying having to buy groceries and split everything down the middle, rent , electric, gas if you have to pay for it, phone, internet , cable if you have it whatever blah blah blah it's so annoying having to have two ppeople pay for things when you aren't married so it's like you want separate finances but sometiems it's hard to keep it separate because you are both paying towards the same things. i'm not saying dont do it, i'm just saying my opinion.
okay i hope this didn't make you mad, i just had to respond.
:0)
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.j.e.s.s. | 03-07-07 9:02pm wow my reply was longer than your entry. i'm sorry!
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