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| skife (profile) wrote, on 3-22-2007 at 11:48am | |
| this was posted on a forum i read. > 1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup > of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost > instantly removed. > 2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting > someone else to hold them while you chop away. > > 3. You can avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet > seat just by using the sink. > > 4. For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed > for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to > use an egg timer. > 5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you > from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze > button. > > 6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you > will be afraid to cough. > > 7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will > forget all about the tooth ache. > > 8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are: > > In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. > If it doesn't move but should, use the WD-40. > If it should not move and does, use the duct tape. > > 9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. > > 10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom. > > > Thought for the day: > > SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES . . . THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR > ANYTHING, BUT THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM > DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS. |
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mochababy49319 | 03-22-07 2:42pm That's hilarious. |
jayzulla | 03-22-07 3:12pm does the slinky thing remind you of anyone? because it makes me think of a specific person. LAUGH! |
skife | Re:, 03-22-07 10:39pm hahahahaha....
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box | 03-23-07 11:51pm Hahahaha, Nice, Jay what would we do without your inserts of humor. |