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| butterfly (profile) wrote, on 5-7-2007 at 7:50pm | |
| Current mood: indescribable Music: Home - Daughtry Subject: Ramblings |
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| I feel like something's missing in my life right now. It's like there's this giant black hole right in the middle of me and it's draining. I don't know what it is. There's numerous possibilities: The man I love is thousands of miles away, I'm graduating, I'm leaving my family behind me in a few months to move to a place that I've never been in my life. I'm starting a whole new chapter in my life and I don't even know if I'm ready for it. I am scared to death. I don't know who to talk to about this, and that's the most depressing thing. My family just tries to talk me out of moving and what they say makes so much since that I feel torn when I talk to Kelly because he's so excited about it. Not that I'm not excited either. I can't wait, I honestly can't, but I just don't know how I'm going to be able to afford it. I think that I'll be fine once I get up there. I'll find a job, I'll work, I'll go to class, I'll have scholarships, I'll apply for state citizenship (and hopefully obtain it) and I'll be with Kelly. That is what makes all of this stressing worth while. Knowing that I'll be with him. I love him so much that I think I'm crazy sometimes. He's such a goof and it makes me happy that he doesn't mind that I'm one as well. I can be myself around him; I couldn't with Karl. If I said the dumb stuff that I say to Kelly to Karl he would make me feel like an idiot. Kelly just says dumb stuff right back and I love that. And once again thinking about the bottom brain made my depressed mood go right away. God I love him. |
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Valoth | 05-08-07 6:34pm Well talk about this later =/ |
mochababy49319 | 05-14-07 12:14pm If you ever need to talk, you know my e-mail. And we'll hang out when you come up. Party or something. Who knows. |
Butterfly | Re:, 05-14-07 1:12pm Thanks, I've just got this weird little "oh my sister burdens people with her problems, not me" thing so I don't like to talk about things that bother me much.
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mochababy49319 | Re: Re:, 05-14-07 2:44pm I do love to party. |